Journey in 78 Steps

Daily Draw: Nine Pentacles

my description:

A woman in a lacy white sari and headscarf stands holding a pentacle in her right hand, and reaches up to a white bird with her right.  The setting shows lush greenery covered in pentacle, mature leafy trees behind her and mountains in the distance.  The surrounding border shows pink and yellow flowers and more white birds flying in a yellow sky.

I've been seeing this card turn up a lot lately in my readings for others.. now here it is for me.  The sense I get from this version is peace and contentment and a state of physical and mental wellbeing.  Life is good, and interesting and beautiful and safe.

The surrounding mountains are interesting - they bring in mental energy I've not thought of before with this card. This is not describing someone who simply has plenty in their life, but someone who has gained it through intelligent action and who is thoughtful in their appreciation of it.  It seems to me that's a really important aspect of this sense of calm wellbeing.  I've known people who had a lot - who'd worked for it, but never act as if its enough or feel secure that it will be there tomorrow.  And that attitude makes a person live as precariously as if they had nothing at all.  But if you know you thoughtfully planned out your own stability, and appreciate what is in your life, it's easier to develop the sort of peace this card depicts than if you have tons of stuff and plenty of money but live every day feeling lack and impending doom.

The trees remind me that this is a card of maturity - maturity in approach to possessions and security, and also a maturity of possessions and money itself... planning for one's retirement and making purchases that are meant to last - looking for quality over quantity.

The bird for me brings in alignment with one's spiritual self - one's material world should reflect spiritual beauty and uplift, not bring one down or be acquired just for the sake of having them.

And for me today, this is a simple suggestion to appreciate my home and what I have and to do something today to make it more beautiful for myself.  To appreciate myself enough to create an environment I love.

Daily Draw: Nine Staves

my description:

A golden haired woman dressed in a simple white tunic held a the waist by a rope belt stands holding a stave in her right hand.  She seems to be leaning on it slightly.  Behind her are seven other tall staves, and one smaller, paler one leaning against another one. All of the staves, including the one she carries, have small buds of leaves  developing. The ground is sandy and  there are white hills in the distance.  The surrounding border shows an arid, fiery landscape.

Pretty close to the standard RWS depiction of this card, with slightly more emphasis on the idea of pausing and a bit less to the idea of being wounded.  However, there is a rather lovely blend of strength and weakness here, and of having multiple reserves that can be drawn on as needed, even if they aren't currently being used.  The woman both holds up and is held up by her stave... the active energy she's working with.  Behind here, there are other staves she can draw upon.  She both stands before them, protecting them, and they stand behind her, protecting her.  The one weaker stave can't be used now, but it is propped up by the stronger ones and it is budding along with the rest of them - left alone but protected to grow now, it will eventually be as strong as the others.

The surrounding atmosphere is quite arid and lifeless - the environment surrounding this card isn't very helpful to growth, so it's more about maintaining one's inner reserves until the situation is more fertile for activity, but even in this lifeless environment, one's strengths can develop if they are used to maintain rather than expended.  It's about hanging in there until a better time to act appears, not giving up, but taking a rest to preserve what you have so that when things do change, you're ready to move.

Daily Draw: II - Wisdom (Sarasvati)

my description:

an Indian woman wearing a white sari and ornate headpiece sits on a giant pink lotus blossom surrounded by water.  She has four arms, two playing a stringed instrument, one left hand holding a red book and the other turned palm up and facing outward.

The water around her is glowing, as if she is radiating light.  Behind her are purple snowpeaked mountains.

The border around the main image shows swans (associated with Sarasvati) and dragonflies.

Sarasvati is the Hindu goddess of knowledge and the arts, symbolized by the musical instrument and book she holds.  The lotus she sits on, symbolic of the soul's higher consciousness because it grows up above the mud and water from which it comes, sits on a sea surrounded by mountains... the intuitive, spiritual center in the midst of intellectual knowledge.  Here, wisdom is a blend of intuition and intellect and the blending of the two generates creative expression and an aesthetic awareness.

In looking around for more detail about Sarasvati, I find connections between her and my more familiar understanding of the High Priestess.  She is described as one who usually declines lavish adornment in favor of a simple white sari (though in this image, she's bedecked in jewels) and one who forgoes "the cravings of the flesh" and instead embraces wisdom, the arts, and knowledge.  She is the patron of libraries and schools, and these are regarded as her temples.

Sarasvati ('one who flows') is a river goddess and was the first to emerge from Brahma, riding a swan, and co-creator with him of the World. She was his counselor, teaching him the ways of wisdom, and there is a story of how he was enamored of her but she insisted their relationship lead to higher minded things.  Eventually, she found a way to cool his ardor enough to be able to be near him and they became man and wife, blending creative energy with wisdom and knowledge.

Deck of the Week: Goddess Tarot

This week, I'm pulling out my Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr.  For me this is practically a brand new deck though I've had it for over a year... the cards still feel stiff and the shape of them is fairly clumsy in my hands.  They're nearly square, so it's difficult to find a smaller side to shuffle from.

The theme of this deck - no mystery here - is based on a variety of goddesses from various cultures.  Each of the Major Arcana is based on the story of a different goddess.  In the case of the minors, the imagery is closer to RWS standard, but each suit is associated with a particular goddess:  Venus for Cups, Freyja for Staves, Isis for Swords, and Lakshmi for Pentacles.

The coloring is pastel and primarily peach tones - it's a bit softer focus than I prefer (I much prefer the richness of Kris Waldherr's Lover's Path Deck).  I enjoy decks that employ a hook in to mythology, although I also sometimes find the associations limiting and stretching a point to make it fit the Tarot structure.  I am not sure yet how well the mythological associations will work for me with this deck, but I do like that it incorporates more than just one mythology, so I'm looking forward to finally spending some time with it.  I will likely be referring to the LWB with this one, so I can understand the mythology in the cards.

Reading: Outlook for the Coming Week

I'm coming to the end of my time with the Druidcraft, so I thought I'd put it away with a look at the coming week.

Question: What is the most important thing for me to focus on this next week?

Key Focus for the Week:
Ace of Pentacles

Indeed.  Money (or the lack of it) is a highlighted issue this week, as I'm waiting on a check that will arrive on Friday and meanwhile things are so tight I'm needing to calculate toilet paper usage to make sure we get there. hah!  It's a short term state of broke to be gotten through.  Unfortunately, it's happening more often as gas and groceries go up - my current budget is no longer covering necessities and there's no more money to budget to it.

But beyond that, I'm also focusing on offering readings through LivePerson.  It's slow going and money earned is paid out monthly, so what I do this week is about bringing in a little extra money a few weeks from now, but it is a beginning.  It brings with it the potential for enough extra income in my budget to not have to have these periodic broke weeks where even the most basic requirements have to wait.  So..focus on that and ride out the week.

Strength I have to work with:
6 of Wands

Victory!  I like seeing this here - so we have to be a little creative and strategic about how to make do with what we've got until Friday.  We've done it before, we can do it again.  And most importantly, by beginning a plan to allow me to offer regular Tarot readings, I may be able to be victorious over this whole shortfall in income that makes it necessary to have broke-weeks far too often. 

I feel like this is just reminding me, "Eye on the prize, baby" and to stay positive.

Challenge I need to overcome:
VIII - Strength, rx

Keeping in mind the limits of my own strength is crucial here - both my mental and intuitive reserves (I want to be careful about not letting myself be drained by reading for more people that I normally do) and my physical reserves.  I have arthritis issues that can sometimes make typing painful enough that it effects my ability to read (hard to focus if every word hurts to 'say').  I notice that the weather this weeks includes some thunderstorm predictions and that usually augers more pain than normal.  I'll want to remember to balance what it is I want to do with how much energy I have to do it, and adjust accordingly.  I want to remember that, like any new project, half the battle is not overdoing things and getting worn out.

Advice:
3 of Wands

And here, a final reminder... what I'm doing right now is preparing for the future - I want to be forward thinking and not worry overmuch about just this week, but in the longterm benefits of the changes and effort I make right now.  Things will take time, and right now planning and small steps in the right direction are far more important than their immediate result.  The trees that make up the three wands in this image are small and fragile, but already starting to bud.  This is going to grow and develop, but I need to give it time.

Daily Draw: Ace of Wands

my description:

A brilliant yellow and orange sun radiates from the upper center of the card. In front of the sun, a wand - a cut branch - is suspended, its tip pointing to the center of the sun. Green leafs are dropping off of the wand, 5 to the right and 3 to the left. 

The landscape beneath shows a deep chasm dividing two rocky cliffs.  The one on the right seems to be covered in moss and there is a deep groove in it toward the top. A tall tree is growing up from the ground below.  On the left side, the cliff is composed of piled up stones, including one tall phallic shaped one in the distance.  Standing on the cliff, looking at the wand (or across the chasm) is a buck deer. 

Very subtle, but in the hazy blue sky above the deer, a crescent moon can be seen.

One thing I really like about the Druidcraft deck is how very seasonal the minors are.  I mean, could this possibly be anything other than the start of summer, with that bright yellow sun and green leaves that look newly unfurled?  Its the one deck where I never have to puzzle *when* I'm looking at as well as what and why.

This fiery Ace also seems quite clear that part of its meaning is fiery passion - especially sexual... crossing that chasm that lies between male and female.  The sun and moon occupy the same sky, though the passionate heat of the sun is dominate right now.

The chasm reminds me that this is what passion spurs us to do - whether its sexual passion or following our dreams... it urges us to leap across barriers... to fly where we can't walk.  This fire gives us energy to stay aloft.  It's energy that feeds our desire, as the sun feeds the leaves and turns them green.

Today it's hitting me at a very mundane level - it's the first day of this year that I'd describe as hot - hot enough to wistfully consider putting on the AC, because I'm not getting any good breeze from the open windows.  Wistfully, because I've waited so long for some warmth that I'm absolutely not ready to close up the house again and keep the actual temperature at bay.

So... let it be hot.  I'm off to make some ice tea and put on some cooler clothes.  Hello, taste of summer... could you wait awhile longer to stay here? I was just getting reacquainted with spring.

Daily Draw: XII - The Hanged Man

my description - a nude man is hanging upside down from an ancient tree.  His arms are bound behind him, the cord that holds them wrapped around his chest.  His right leg is crooked and tucked behind his left leg, which is tied securely by the ankle to the tree.  His mouth is stuffed with leaves, giving him the appearance of a living Greenman, and his hair is brushing the roots at the base of the tree. 

There are blackberries and bluebells in the foreground and what I think is mistletoe hanging from the tree, which also is laden with some sort of unripe fruit.  Behind the tree, there is a golden meadow of wildflowers and wheat and a scythe near the wheat.  The time of year appears to be early autumn?  Scattered about are bright red blossoms... poppies?

The blackberries, the fruit still ripening.. the mistletoe, the wheat... everything here, our Hanged Man included, is suspended in this moment in time, preparing for their own sacrifice and harvest. The poppies remind me of death and remembrance and of course, Remembrance Day and those who have sacrificed themselves in battle - but this sacrifice is of a different sort.

This is the sacrifice of action - of choosing to give up one's right to fight against and struggle and move, and instead to let go and allow a situation to develop without one for the greater good, even if it means the loss of oneself.

It's easy enough to think of the big examples of this - it's a big concept.  Odin suspended from the World Tree, Jesus crucified, the god of the harvest mown down to feed the village and make way for winter, and then the examples in history... conscientious objectors and passive resisters who have made change by choosing not to act but to Not Act, and been locked up, called Traitor (this card's old name), suffering ridicule and contempt and deprivation without responding in kind.

It's harder to think of the little examples.. the daily ones.  It doesn't seem to be very comfortable to choose not acting as a giving act, but then I look at our cats - and in the span of a week and a half, our older cat has gone from crying mournfully at the sight of the kitten to what I am seeing today... laying there peaceably, flicking his tail, while the kitten jumps and attacks and generally runs around like a miniature tazmanian devil, and the older one looks for all the world pleased to be used as living cat toy by her.

I think of my plans for the day - and it was a carefully orchestrated list - and setting it aside in favor of a spontaneous visit from a woman who badly needed to talk over a stressful situation, not needing to do anything for her but listen.  I think of overhearing my daughter on the phone telling a friend she isn't going to take sides in a battle because she cares about both people involved.

Voluntarily choosing to do nothing, even if something personal must be let go for the greater good.  It's everywhere and is a very active choice to remain passive.

The left leg - passive response - is tied to the tree of life, while the right - active response - is tucked away for now.    This is a difficult card for me, but I think I get it, at least in glimpses.  It makes better sense if I don't think about it too much... don't get to active with it.  This man has not been sacrificed.. he is fulfilling his purpose peaceably, like the wheat and the blackberries and the fruit ripening until it is ready to fall from the tree.

Daily Draw: 2 of Cups

my description:

A young couple stand facing each other holding cups toward one another as if toasting of offering them to the other to drink from. 

The woman has brown wavy hair loosely pulled back and wears a loose fitting blue wrap garment and a red sash around her waist.  She is holding onto an end of the sash and pulling it taut across her groin area, which highlights the womb region.  Her legs are apart, the left one standing forward in the man's space and this opens the dress enough to see her upper thigh. 

The man has black hair (and an unfortunate mullet), and chiseled features that currently carry a soft look toward the woman.  He's wearing a green striped kilt and sash that flows from behind him and is draped over his right arm, which is around the woman's waist.  His right leg is forward in in the woman's space.

Their focus is only on one another.  They are standing on a flowering grassy lawn near a pond of water and there is a large rock in the foreground.  Behind them on a low hill is some sort of building, flat and long that looks more like a leather belt and buckle than a building to me.  The sky feels close and panoramic and is covered in light clouds through which the sun is shining.

The dance of early flirtation seems very evident in this card.  These two have responded to the potential for connection of the Ace, and here they've each opened themselves to letting the other move into their own space.  The woman in particular is both openly showing her desire as well as flirtatiously barring passage with her provocative gesture with the red sash... saying 'this is here but I'm not quite ready to let you in'.  An age old game for them both with a hint of come-hither and chase.

Beyond the level of simple boy meets girl, there is the notion of union of masculine/feminine, yin/yang, projective/receptive... the woman leads with her left, the man with his right.  At points, they cross over into the other's realm... their feet, ready to move further in toward union... his arm at her waist prepared to draw her closer while she holds back slightly (but prepared to give in when the preliminaries are concluded), the cups they hold up as if about to nourish one another with their own emotional selves.  While opposites, this is a card of the union of equals, each providing to the other what they need, but providing in their own way - they do not duplicate one another, they complement one another and create the beginning of a united whole.

For me today, what strikes me the most is the movement into one another's space.  We've all got that bubble of physical, mental and emotional space where the majority of the world is not welcome.  We instinctively back up when people get too close and as we grow more intimate with a person that bubble shrinks.  Very rarely, we join so fully with another that the bubble practically disappears and of course there are days when our bubble is quite a bit thicker than others.

I woke up this morning just knowing that today was going to be a big bubble day.  It's been a week where I've had a lot of people over to the house, gone visiting, dealing with the new kitten (who not only has no bubble but loves her little baby teeth and claws and thinks I am a great cat toy), and have read for more strangers than I normally do in such a short time frame.

I'm done in... and so oddly, this card reminds me ... not TO connect but what the requirements for connection are... the willingness to let people in.. the willingess to move toward them.. the sharing of emotional energy.. and even that small bit of protectiveness she's got going on that reminds me that boundaries are ok.  Today, I need my boundaries so my connections with others are nourishing for all concerned and don't feel invasive.

So.. quiet time today.  I need to hear the sound of my own heartbeat for awhile.

Daily Draw: X - The Wheel

my description:

a red-haired woman, braids at her temples, is bending over to complete the drawing of a circle in the sand.  She wears a loose blue garment and purple shawl, with a rope belt around her waist.  Hanging from the rope is a small scourge and her feet are bare.  In her left hand she holds a small 8-segmented wheel like a pendulum and in her right a wooden wand used to draw the circle.  On her left arm there is a double spiral arm bracelet.  She is standing before the opening to a cave and the sandy ground where she works is surrounded by rocks.  In the distance there is a flat beach and the ocean.  It's daylight with high clouds that a stretched along the horizon... a wind is blowing, but the overall feeling is of a warm, balmy day.

On the pillar shaped rock behind her (the left side of the entrance), I can almost make out a face.. not so much carved as simply created by the shape of the rock - grass grows from the top of it that gives it the appearance of hair.  It's like a naturally created hint of the Greenman.

This is by far my favorite version of the Wheel card.  In this image I see the synthesis of those things beyond our direct control... the passage of time, the endless cycling of circumstance and condition, but there is no hint of helplessness in the face of that lack of control... rather, this woman works within that process to bring her own actions in harmony with it.  She holds the pendulum... the Wheel of the Year that guides her action and focus... the scourge to remind that we must take the pain along with the joy... that sometimes you sow, and sometime you reap and both are necessary and valuable.  She draws her own wheel, creating a place of sacredness and safety from which to create her own magic.  She stands near the cave that is both the womb where life begins and the tomb where we return to the Mother at our end of days.  In the distance, the ocean reminds us of the spiritual source of all that is.  This cave and that ocean have been here for aeons and will remain long after this one's work is complete, but she is a part and partner to it while she is here.

I love this card. Love it.  It reminds me to appreciate the season of life I am in now.. to open myself up to that passage of time. It reminds me nothing stands still, whether I want to or not, so go with it.  It reminds me that what I do today will have effects long after I am gone and that what happens today was born long before I was aware of it, and yet, my responsibility today is to be in harmony with Today, and not neglect it trying to be somewhere else on the Wheel.  Be Here Now.

Daily Draw: IV - The Lord

my description:

a mature man with greying beard and mustache sits on a stony throne.  He's wearing a green robe, blue armor a red cloak, leather sandals and a leather helmet with stag horns.  He holds a wooden staff in his left hand and his right foot is crossed over his left knee.  There are faded celtic knots carved into the stone throne, but it is otherwise very natural (as if made of rocks piled into the shape of a chair.  There is no detail about the surrounding landscape, but the sky is mostly cloudy with a pale peach tint (like sunrise).  A bird of prey is circling in the distance behind him.   The man looks straight head out of the card, expressionless but his eyes are piercing and stern. There is a highlighted glow of light on the rock above his head, not bright but as if reflected from the top of his head.

My first thought on this guy is that I wouldn't want to have to stand in front of him and tell him I hadn't done something I was supposed to!  His garb seems to be a blend of warrior and priest.  Looking for elemental cues, they're all here though some are less obvious than others - the staff and cloak point to Wands/fire, and the airy background, the bird, and the wind blowing through the cloak are Swords/air.  The stony throne and stags horns are Pentacles/earth.  Water is mostly absent (other than what might be held aloft by the clouds), but I see it in the blue fishscales of his armor.

He is not emotion-free, but very emotion-controlled.  Primarily, he operates his will in a mental environment, with a solid foundation (chair beneath, helmet above) of practicality. 

His sandals suggest to me that he's prepared to act as needed, but he is not on a journey - they aren't boots - his purpose is to stay here and watch over things, making sure everything operates as it should.  And Lord help anyone who doesn't do their part.

The look on his face is actually getting to me - my father was a master at The Look, accompanied by a low voice (I have never ever heard him yell) that would freeze your blood.  What a great skill that was! Once, at a large holiday dinner, one of us kids put our elbows on the table and from his vantage at the other end, he noticed, leaned forward and very softly and sternly said, "Elbows! off!"

The entire table - children, men, women, dogs in surrounding counties, jumped back as if they'd been stung and they (and he!) was so startled by the immediacy and universality of that response that we never did work out who it was he'd been speaking to.  Doesn't matter - when the Lord speaks, everyone listens.  Or else.