Journey in 78 Steps

Daily Draw: 2 of Hats (Cups)

‘Who are you talking to?’ said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity.

‘It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,’ said Alice: ‘allow me to introduce it.’

‘I don’t like the look of it at all,’ said the King: ‘however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.’

‘I’d rather not,’ the Cat remarked.

‘Don’t be impertinent,’ said the King, ‘and don’t look at me like that!’ He got behind Alice as he spoke.

‘A cat may look at a king,’ said Alice. ‘I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.’

‘Well, it must be removed,’ said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, ‘My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!’

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. ‘Off with his head!’ she said, without even looking round.

‘I’ll fetch the executioner myself,’ said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.

~ Alice in Wonderland, Chapter 8. Lewis Carroll

In this version of the two of Cups, we see one of literature's most cantankerous couples - the King and Queen of Hearts.  The King is full of bluster and insistance on rules, while the Queen truly does have  one solution for everything (but very little actual follow through).  For all that, though, the two of them do get along well with each other - evidence, I supposed, that there is someone for everyone.

The Cheshire cat in this image beams down on them, head only and doesn't look at all worried that they are intending to have him executed - in fact, a few moments from now, while they're debating how on earth to behead a cat with no body, he'll simply fade from view and be done with the whole thing.

Along with the realization that even cranky people can find love, what strikes me about this is that the 2 of Cups doesn't always indicate perfect love - it is a union, certainly, but it encompasses the full range of romantic unions - not just the hearts and flowers variety, but the dysfunctional versions as well.

This couple is so disturbed by the higher spirit of love that they are quickly agreeing to kill it off and only arguing about how to go about it.  And I think of habitual arguers that never seem to either get over  the arguing or get out (I've been that person), and how much that arguing habit makes love as anyone might recognize it simply fade away before they can agree to kill it off.

These two are getting a pay off for continuing this behavior.. if nothing else, who else would have them?  Dysfunctional love is love of a sorts, but not one that will make the situation happy or even bearable for those around them.

When the 2 of Cups comes up in a reading it's probably a very good idea to remember it only symbolizes a union - it does not promise a happily ever after or trouble free life.

Daily Draw: Two of Water (Love)

A pair of hands reach out to touch each other, brushing fingers lightly.  Directly behind th hands there is an intertwined tangle of ivy, looping in an out of itself so that I can't tell if it is two plants or one.  In the background there are rocky hills and two rivers that run parallel to one another and then converge at the point directly beind the hands and plants, flowing as one into a waterfall at the front of the image.

The sky shows a low sun on the horizon - the sun itself is not visible, but yellow light is, along with purple clouds below and blue skies above... it seems more like sunrise than sunset to me.

One thing I like about this version of the 2 of Cups is that it is left open who the pair of people that belong to those hands might actually be... this love could be between a romantic couple, friends, family members... they could be reaching out in preparation for a hug or shaking hands to cement a commitment to a partnership.  The key aspect here isn't what role or expression their love takes, but that it is through love that individuals become One.

Just as the waters that flow separately come together to create one river, and the ivy weaves itself together into one tangle of life, these two touch and in the touching of one another create a bond that is it's own entity and there seems to be a suggestion here that an aspect of love is no longer holding every act up to scrutiny for what it means to oneself as an individual... no score keeping - pay attention to what's fair to the relationship and trust that doing so ensures fairness to those committed to it.

I'm not sure that's a way of being I'm always very comfortable with but I can almost comprehend how it would work.  And when my relationships are going well - when both sides regard the needs of the other it does work.  But it does seem to require both sides being committed to it... very difficult to prop up a relationship by yourself.

I don't mean to sound so negative there - and I'm not so much feeling that negativity and making an observation.  I think where people get into difficulty is either believing that they should be able to take on the entire responsibility for keeping a relationship going, or in waiting for the other person to start first before they let go of their focus on their own needs.

When it flows, it doesn't feel hard.. and when it feels hard, I think it's usually because someone is doing the equivalent of damming up their own river just in case the other might be doing the same.

Reading - Intuitive Filters

I realized I have no current burning question or situation confusing me right now to use the spread I posted on, so  I decided to treat it as a general exploratory reading, asking..

"What filters do I need to be alert to in reading for others?"

1. I see what I saw before
What experiences from the past are affecting my understanding?

X - The Wheel
The Wheel truly is reflective of my view of life and the way reality works.

My past experiences indicate to me that cause and effect are the key laws that govern reality, and so I tend to focus readings on why things happen, and likely results of decisions made (or left unmade). 

I also have experienced the reality that even if the answer is 'not now' it doesn't always mean 'never' so I am very leery of making definitive pronouncements when I know that things change and often due to circumstances that are not yet present at all and are dependent on circumstances beyond our control.

Finally, the Wheel, for me, shows that life is a blend of outside influences and an inward response to them - we may not have a choice about whether to ride the Wheel through its up and downs, but we have a choice whether to take that ride clinging to the edge or staying centered and calm.

The Wheel speaks of cycles of time and a rhythmic way of perceiving apparent chaos and it is difficult to read at all without assuming this mindset to be operational.  I'm pretty confident that it is, but it would be a good idea not to assume that the one I'm reading for regards life on these terms - it may need to be explained or put into terms they are able to comprehend and accept.

This is the only Major Arcana card in this reading, and as such I want to take this as the key life lesson I bring to readings.

2. I see what I just saw
What recent experience is affecting my understanding?

8 of Wands
This image shows an archer aiming an arrow at his target.  I often take the 8 of wands, with its reference to speeding spears flying midair as a reference to the Internet ... and recently, that's the media for the majority of the readings I do for others, either via LivePerson, in email, or on Second Life.

This has altered a number of my opinions about how things work because these readings from a distance work very well.  I'm still not much at a place where I can readily articulate why they work (I'm still working out my personal thesis about why Tarot works), but I have come to trust that they do.

Tentatively, I believe there is a web of connection... much like the web of connection that makes up the Internet itself... that is not limite by geography.  I don't think there is some sort of short range emanation that only works at close quarters and dissipates with distance.

And I am aware that many do not agree with this assessment, and it may be necessary to see it as possible for it to be possible.

I'm almost entirely beyond my ability to put what I'm getting from this into words, so I will leave it at that.  But to summarize this card in this position, my recent experiences with the interconnectedness of people at a distance from one another are a filter that colors my impression about what is possible, not only for readings, but for relationship-related questions.  I do not find it at all unbelievable or 'crazy' (a word used often by those asking about long distance relationships, as they explain with embarrassment what their situation is) that very real and solid connections happen between people who have never stood in close proximity to one another. (This also makes me very impatient with those who neglect to show the same ethical sense when dealing with people online that they would in person on the grounds that it is not 'real' or 'just for fun' but that may be another topic altogether.)

3. I see what I want to see
What desire of mine is affecting my understanding?

10 of Cups

This card for me is the epitomy of happiness shared - emotional fulfillment for oneself that overflows so much that it must be passed on.  I sometimes think of it as the 'happily ever after' card - the perfect fairy tale ending to a story filled with adventure and drama.

I have to admit that is my desire... I want people to be happy and I am always sad and feel apologetic when a reading just isn't offering that.  (I don't lie but I will try to find the silver lining in an otherwise negative reading)  This is something I need to watch, I know... to keep it honest and not allow my own desire for things to work out for everyone lead me to miss situations that have very little positive to offer.

It also leads me to build into readings alternatives so that even if the person's question has a negative answer, I can find something there that shows a path to happiness.  And I don't think that that's a bad thing, but I want to be careful not to do that as a way to make myself feel better about being the bearer of bad news and wind up deflecting away from the primary matter of concern by saying 'ooh, look over there! shiny!'

While I do think it is very helpful for people to focus on what would truly make them happy (rather than chasing things that doom them to unhappiness), it's most important for me to stay focused on their concern, not on my preference for what their concern should be.

4. I see how I am
How is my current state of being and environment affecting my understanding?

4 of Pentacles

Of all the cards here this is the one I'm least comfortable to see and I've had to mull quite a bit about what it means in this context (and still am).  The image on this card is leaning pretty heavily to the aspect of the 4 of Pents that pertains to miserliness.  I don't think I am miserly in my readings - pretty much the opposite in that I've had to learn to be more concise in my explanations.

However, my 'state of being' is certainly on that requires me to be tight with my own budget and if this is a filter that impacts my reading for others, it's in that I understand and expect that those I read for are equally short on funds... I am still struggling with the idea the a good reading (and I do think I read well - this is not about a lack of confidence) can have a dollar value attached without guilt on my part.

I don't entirely think that's a bad view - I have turned away a couple people who are heavy repeaters because they are spending (to my way of thinking) ridiculous amounts of money on issues that would be better served by action on their part than on continually looking ... and getting... the same guidance.

But I may need to look at whether this internal unwillingness on my own part to budget for things that are 'merely' personal guidance might not be coloring the readings themselves... when I read, I don't want to be thinking about money at all, but about the situation being explored.  I may need to make sure I'm not letting the clock ticking away distract me from that, or take on the burden of other people's financial choices.

I also think I need to continue to get comfortable with the idea that my time is of value and that is what I'm being paid for.  This miser doesn't have a good balanced sense of what money is... he values money over what money pays for and I may be undervaluing what I am offering in exchange for what I am paid.

Like I said... more mulling needed here.  Since this is the least comfortable card in this reading, it is also one of the most important.  Especially in a reading like this, confusion and resistance are signals that it's hitting deep, I think.

5. I see who I am
What personal values do I hold that are affecting my understanding?

2 of Wands

For me all the 2s have to do with choice based on the criteria of their element, and tend to favor saying yes to the potential presented by the Ace.

So with the 2 of Wands, the personal value being highlighted is that of saying yes to one's passions, goals and dreams.   It is an active agreement to participate in one's own future.

The woman on this card is contemplative - before you can step off in the direction of your desires, it's necessary to take adequate time working out for yourself what those desires are.  That way, when opportunities do present themselves, you've got some idea of whether or not they are the right opportunity for you.

In terms of how this creates a filter on my readings, I'm struck by what sort of things tend to frustrate me the most, and it has to do with this (and not all those seeking readings are like this, thank goodness, or I couldn't do it) -

Sometimes, people don't want to hear a thing about what's within their own control... they just want to know 'what will happen' - as if that's independent of their own will or desired direction.

It's as if someone set up a big party for them in the next room with everything they want and all they have to do is walk through the door ... and as soon as that is suggested it's all 'uh uh no way, I'm not walking through that door... if it's meant to be, it'll come to ME.' and then they wonder why nothing happened.

My values tell me that that if you can't be bothered to do anything at all to get what you want, you are announcing to the Universe at large that you really don't want it... so you do get what you want.. you get nothing.  The Universe is really quite giving that way.

Yes, this is a filter that colors the direction of my readings.  And it's ok with me if it's not for everyone because I don't actually  think I'm the right reading for everyone.  I''d much rather read for those who are ready and willing to set their path in motion than for those who are just  waiting for things to drop in their lap - or on their head.

Deviant Moon Lunatic Spread

I've been working on this for days - the actual reading was done on the 18th with short notes in my private journal, but I wanted to put up something coherent and with images here.  This involved more fussing with my scanner than I would have liked and it hit me during a not so verbal phase - so chipping it it bit by bit...

I didn't ask a question other than what should I be aware of covering the next couple of months.  The spread itself is the one that's included with the Deviant Moon deck (which comes with a paper tarot cloth showing this same spread).  Lots of hidden' stuff and influences, with I think is perfectly compatible with a deck devoted to offkilter lunar concerns.

The Inquirer: Present Day - self and all circumstances in your present position in life

THE LOVERS

A pale woman and dark man are standing on a sandy shore near a large pool or water, locked in an intimate embrace - the woman's right leg is lifted upward (as if about to wrap it around his hip and pull him closer) and her head is tilted back as he nuzzles her neck.  Her eyes are closed but his are open and gazing at her.  They are both naked other than a red flat cap with yellow triangles trimming the edge which the man is wearing.  A snake is on the ground near the man's left foot and has bit him just above the ankle.

In the distance, and reflected in the pool, there is a line of mountains - the general color of the sand, pool, mountains and even the sky is brownish-gold.  Hanging over the couple is a full moon with a face smiling at them and a ray of mist emanating toward the couple from the moon, as if it is blowing moondust down on them.

This is an overtly sexual depiction of the Lovers.  The snake provides a hint of Adam and Eve (warning, perhaps, of the cost of giving over oneself to love).  The couple show a contrast between the full moon and dark moon - here, it is the male that is the dark moon figure and yet he is also the one in the active 'taking' position while the full moon female is shown as the more receptive one, eyes closed, receiving a kiss. This suggests to me  that the choice to Love requires letting one's irrational inner self take over...and one's conscious persona be willing to receive and not be in full control of what happens.

I wonder if the real cost the snake represents is that 'knowledge' makes it hard to let go and receive love without counting the cost? (I actually have a whole different take on Adam and Eve... but musing from within the traditional mythical construct here)

So.. this is where I am right now... making choices that involve my relationship with those I love, and needing to let go...stop counting that cost and give into it...trust that, just as the Moon here blesses the union, it will be all right.  And beyond my relationship with others there is the aspect of consciously stepping back and letting myself be seduced by my own dark moon inner self.

Past Influences - events from the past that shape the present

THE EMPRESS

A pale woman in a purple cloak and blue and gold headdress sits on a concrete stool on top of a black and white checkered floor that is surrounded by a lush wild garden.  Under the purple cloak, the woman appears to have a sharply ridged spine (like a leaf edge or lizard) and a thick green appendage that seems to be a tail comes from under the cloak and wraps around the woman's foot and up to her arm, where it becomes a green stem wrapping around her wrist and ending in an orange tuliplike flower that she holds.

The woman has a double set of breasts (the better to feed you with, my dear) and dark hair under the headdress.  In the sky, there is a waning crescent moon in the upper left corner.

The first thing that strikes me is the checkered floor - while the Empress is goddess of growing things, she still sits on a solid orderly foundation.  The other thing that gets me is that tail that seems to be both animal and plant - contained with in her is all living things, and the multiple breasts with which to sustain and nourish them.

It is my aspect as mother which has most profoundly shaped my past and impacts my present when it comes to relationships of all sorts - no matter who I am involved with, my parenthood is a part of the puzzle.  No matter what choices I make in terms of connectedness, my relationship with my children must be factored in.  And my way of relating to them impacts how I tend to relate to others.  In parenthood, especially, there is a need to give into the needs of the relationship and not count the cost (at least not after you've taken that step - and I took mine while just on the brink of adulthood, so I do not have any other way of being to compare this to - whatever else changes around me, I am now and always will be a mother).

Subconscious Influences - Underlying forces in the inquirer's mind, dreams, subconscious thoughts

10 of SWORD

A golden hairless figure (reminds me of a buddha having a very, very bad day) is crammed into a small wooden box. Ten swords have been thrust into the box and are trapping or piercing the figure and a look of agony is on the figure's face.  Swords pierce his nose, his heart region, his left hand (lifted up as if to say, "Stop! No more!" his left forearm and knee and his left foot.  Meanwhile his right side limbs are completely trapped by swords so he is unable to move or resist the onslaught.

Ouch... So first thought... "I don't feel that way!" and then heh... subconscious, my dear - this is where the denial happens.

And the truth is, this is where I have lived for the last few years - betrayed, boxed in and trapped by the details of my marriage breaking up... the details aren't necessary here... that deep down, I'm still carrying this is.

This card is utterly grim - there's no glint of a new day dawning and it reminds me of one of those horrible tests in the Saw movies... if you want to get out you're going to have to yank yourself off those swords and be willing to cut by a few more of them and then you have to figure out how to get out of that box. 

So subconsciously, I'm still here - I've worked to consciously not feel this way, but that's been mainly by sitting very still and not thinking about it.  This card is letting me know that I'm going to have to actually work my way out of the devastation or I'm still here, whether I acknowledge it or not.

Like I say...ouch.

Secret Desires and Wishes - Hopes and dreams not yet realized

THE FOOL

An here is the opposite of that boxed in golden child - the Fool, tromping freely through a shallow pool (there are gondolas - this is a watery street) and playing with the fishes. 

The Fool here is of the dark moon and there is a waxing moon in the sky - he may not appear to be doing much other than playing, but this is a time of growth.  The Fool wears a red and white striped outfit that could be a jester's costume, but looks more like a pair of pajamas and nightcap.  While everyone sleeps, he's out frolicking.

And yes.. hopes and dreams not yet realized... to be free and playful without any cares and without always having to consider what might go wrong.  This Fool is enjoying the world of emotions and intuition (not impaled by thoughts and strategies) and has a deep unabashed trust that things will be ok and can take care of themselves.  This looks like a good place to be and yes, I would like this .. or at least more of this... in my life.

Hidden Influences - Unseen powers that affect the inquirer
9 of CUPS

Here we go again... the 9 of Cups continues to turn up for me in readings all over the place, usually in some sort of 'unseen' context.

In this version, there is a dark moon figure dressed in a tailored brown outfit and a tight pigtail sitting on the beach near a body of water.  The figure is holding a lamp from which a dark genii has appeared, surrounded by a ring of golden cups.  The genii has a 'third eye' in the midle of his forehead.  There is a waning moon hanging low in the sky.

I have to just give in on this one... unseen powers that affect me have to do with someone or some situation that has the power and is willing to use it to grant me what I wish.  And believing this.. takes busting through that 10 of Swords box, because all of those swords are inscribed with 'I got into this by trusting that I could have what was promised'.

I think this 9 of Cups keeps popping up to tell me to trust - and that's scarier than that image of the box.  Makes sense, I suppose... if I really want that Fool, trust has to come first.

Thing is... in those genii stories, 'be careful what you wish for' is always the message, isn't it?  I continue to not know how to relate to this card.

Events to Come - Future happenings in the inquirer's destiny

5 of CUPS

Yikes what a wretched image - a pair of dark moon figures stand on a balcony near the sea.  The woman, wearing an apron and red headscarf is angrily pointing and waving at the man, who appears to be smaller than she is and fairly well dressed. He wears a purple cap and a look of anxiety and is covering his ears to block out her words.  Three spilled cups (the liquid could be red wine but it looks like blood) are discarded on the ground near his feet, and a pair of upright cups are on the wall next to the couple.  The moon is full and entirely blank faced.

This is regret for choices that have lead to an unbearable situation and quite honestly it looks a lot more like my past and my marriage than anything I'm likely to allow into my world in the future... yes, i've been that nag married to someone tuning me out (I've also been the one being criticised).... regretted being in a situation where I felt I had to nag - and definitely regretted being in a situation where carelessness led to emotional concerns being treated like trash and wasted.  Both of us at fault for that one, yes.

So what's this mean for the future.. because, seriously, I won't ever let myself be in that situation again - it was an enormously painful place to be and too many years wasted on it for the sake of whatever dribbles were left in those upright cups.  But this may be working along with that 10 of Swords... and that in my future, I've got some actual letting go of this frustration and regret to come.  Another step in the two of us breaking the emotional hold we've got on each other  (which, at this point, is almost entirely quietly hostile and negative). That'd be good - some sincere neutrality would be a good thing - otherwise, we've both moved on but that undercurrent still exists. I'd like to get to a point where I can honestly (key word, that) say that I've let go of the betrayal I feel about how it played out (not that it played out - that part was a good thing. we were not good together) and it'd be nice to believe that he isn't justifying those decisions by continuing to talk about how terrible I am to people that don't even know me.

I'll take this as a positive indicator of that possibility... the notion that that day isn't comin is just unbearable... neither of us should be continuing to expend energy on hostility and negativity at this point.

Surrounding Environment - Elements of home, work, community, etc.

WHEEL OF FORTUNE

The figures on this card are pale, full moon in aspect.  A large woman (Lady Luck?) is dressed in a green dress and red coat and headscarf, trimmed in gold.  Her feet are bare.  A small figure with a tail, naked except for a red and gold cap (like a trained monkey's cap) is seated on a stool, hands on face and looking awestruck and scared, watching the woman crank the handle on a large wheel behind the pair.

The wheel itself is metallic and embossed with various images - a broken heart, a palm, a face, a moon, a star... A pair of fish decorate the wheel and a monkey faced imp with wings looks on from overhead, wielding a pair of small wands.

The phrase that comes to mind here is 'Oh no, what now??  And in terms of my environment...family, friends, community... this is most definitely how it's been lately for us all, hasn't it? Hanging on and apprehensively wondering what the next monkey wrench is going to be - feeling as if far too much is dependent on circumstances beyond our personal control.

Lately, Lady Luck has been nobody's friend.

Influence of Others - how those you meet or deal with affect your persona

ACE of CUPS

A dark moon woman with stone wings is seated, facing left. She's wearing a gauzy gown of blue and purple, trimmed in gold and wears a golden armband, a bracelet and ring connected by a golden chain, a golden neck cuff and a gold tiara with a red stone in the middle and twelve spikes (6 white, and 6 black).  Her hair is in tight beaded braids.

She's holding a golden, two-handled chalice decorated with vines - the handles are seahorses.

A full moon looks down with a calm face and is breathing a strong ray of moondust down into her cup.  The woman's face has a soft smile on it - she seems to be contented and happy.

This card tells me that every person I meet or am in contact with is a fresh opportunity for emotional openness - that people are where my potential for emotional growth lies.  This rings very true for me - it is in my relationships (including those who are only in my life for as long as it takes me to pay for something at a checkout counter) that I experience emotional richness.   This reading seems to be very much about my emotional life - and here is a reminder that all of my encounters contain the potential to help me grow into the person I wish to be.

For all that there are things beyond my control and old wounds to address and heal, as long as I remember that people are what matter most, I have within myself the the ability to feel abundance and love.

Spiritual Forces - Effects of spiritual influence over your question
2 of CUPS

A couple stand in the corner of a room which looks out over a city scene where a clock can be seen striking midnight.

The male is a skeleton (Death?), wearing a fancy cream outfit and red cloak and hood covered with a gold scarf.  The woman is dark with long black hair that is covered in glowing lights (stars?).  There is clearly a flirtation happening here - he leans against the wall behind her and she seems to be winking at him.  They hold a pair of gold chalices as if toasting one another. 

A golden ribbon wraps down the male's left leg and is curled around her right foot.  The toenails on her left foot are painted red, while those on her right are painted black.  Some spilled wine (blood) is sprinkled on the ground between their feet.

The same checked floor as on the Empress card is on the floor here.  In the distance, there is a factory blowing smoke from its chimneys.

This is partnership - these two appear to be very different and yet there does seem to be a complementary connection between death and darkness that works.  While this is new and flirtatious, the connection has been made and since this is about spiritual influences, this suggests to me here to seek spirituality in the realm of connections... a confirmation of the Ace's message and also a suggestion to connect to those subconscious and hidden influences this reading has highlighted.  Death's connection to the 10 of Swords - letting things go... and the hidden mystery I have with that 9 of cups pointing to this dark woman's head full of stars seem to be speaking here... they are connected somehow and can come together in a spiritual way for me.

(This reading is speaking on a level that is hard to draw up into the realm of words... if that sounded like babble it makes sense to me but I'm not sure how well I'm expressing it)

Final Outcome - Culmination of Events - result/answer to question

4 of PENTACLES

Here is Death again, this time female, wearing a dark cloak and hood and a frightening face. She wears a clock around her neck showing the time as 9:40 - a waxing moon is in the sky near a large building with a pair of smoking chimneys.  Death is leading away a richly dressed man (gold and purple) wearing a crown.  He has one shoe on and one off, as if he's being hustled away on short notice and he's looking back anxiously at the building he's leaving behind.

In his arms, he's clutching four pentacles... all he was able to take with him before he goes.  Death is leading him into a building or furnace filled with a raging fire, but the man doesn't seem to be even looking at where he's headed because he's so worried about what he's leaving behind.

Begs the question...just what does he think he's going to do with those pentacles he hangs onto so desperately?

This is a rather disturbing culmination card, eh?  The short answer here is 'you can't take it with you' - and even if you could, what's the point?  The reading suggests to me that it's hanging onto those old thoughts of betrayal that keeps me clutching for the status quo... in actuality, things are changing... the Wheel shows how circumstances are changing no matter how still I try to sit.  The Fool in the place of my hopes shows a need to travel very lightly.  The rest remind me over and over that it's in emotions not things... people not circumstances... where my true path lies.

This person, with his one shoe off and hugging coins to himself looks far more foolish than the Fool does.

---

I'm rather awestruck at the richness of this reading and this deck - I wasn't sure if I could read with it at all, but I can.  It's going to take a lot of practice to capably put these images into words... they truly do access the subconscious, below the level of language.

I've been mulling on this reading for a long time, and it continues to bear fruit.  And I think I may have a new favorite deck.

Daily Draw: 2 of Cups

my description:

A young couple stand facing each other holding cups toward one another as if toasting of offering them to the other to drink from. 

The woman has brown wavy hair loosely pulled back and wears a loose fitting blue wrap garment and a red sash around her waist.  She is holding onto an end of the sash and pulling it taut across her groin area, which highlights the womb region.  Her legs are apart, the left one standing forward in the man's space and this opens the dress enough to see her upper thigh. 

The man has black hair (and an unfortunate mullet), and chiseled features that currently carry a soft look toward the woman.  He's wearing a green striped kilt and sash that flows from behind him and is draped over his right arm, which is around the woman's waist.  His right leg is forward in in the woman's space.

Their focus is only on one another.  They are standing on a flowering grassy lawn near a pond of water and there is a large rock in the foreground.  Behind them on a low hill is some sort of building, flat and long that looks more like a leather belt and buckle than a building to me.  The sky feels close and panoramic and is covered in light clouds through which the sun is shining.

The dance of early flirtation seems very evident in this card.  These two have responded to the potential for connection of the Ace, and here they've each opened themselves to letting the other move into their own space.  The woman in particular is both openly showing her desire as well as flirtatiously barring passage with her provocative gesture with the red sash... saying 'this is here but I'm not quite ready to let you in'.  An age old game for them both with a hint of come-hither and chase.

Beyond the level of simple boy meets girl, there is the notion of union of masculine/feminine, yin/yang, projective/receptive... the woman leads with her left, the man with his right.  At points, they cross over into the other's realm... their feet, ready to move further in toward union... his arm at her waist prepared to draw her closer while she holds back slightly (but prepared to give in when the preliminaries are concluded), the cups they hold up as if about to nourish one another with their own emotional selves.  While opposites, this is a card of the union of equals, each providing to the other what they need, but providing in their own way - they do not duplicate one another, they complement one another and create the beginning of a united whole.

For me today, what strikes me the most is the movement into one another's space.  We've all got that bubble of physical, mental and emotional space where the majority of the world is not welcome.  We instinctively back up when people get too close and as we grow more intimate with a person that bubble shrinks.  Very rarely, we join so fully with another that the bubble practically disappears and of course there are days when our bubble is quite a bit thicker than others.

I woke up this morning just knowing that today was going to be a big bubble day.  It's been a week where I've had a lot of people over to the house, gone visiting, dealing with the new kitten (who not only has no bubble but loves her little baby teeth and claws and thinks I am a great cat toy), and have read for more strangers than I normally do in such a short time frame.

I'm done in... and so oddly, this card reminds me ... not TO connect but what the requirements for connection are... the willingness to let people in.. the willingess to move toward them.. the sharing of emotional energy.. and even that small bit of protectiveness she's got going on that reminds me that boundaries are ok.  Today, I need my boundaries so my connections with others are nourishing for all concerned and don't feel invasive.

So.. quiet time today.  I need to hear the sound of my own heartbeat for awhile.