Today's a new moon, and it's time to put this deck away (sadly, because I am enjoying it so much more after these last few days than I have in the past). So time for a reading to send it off.
This New Moon is in Libra, and in doing a little reading, it's supposed to be a good time to work on the growth of fair relationships, so I'm once again reading on my daughter - things have been fine since the blow up the other day, but given the bigger concerns of easing her toward independent adulthood, it seemed like the relationship most in need of a boost.
Rather than seeking out a new moon - specific spread, I simply used a basic one I use often and the results were very interesting.
I have: Mother of Water (Compassion)
This is what I have to work with - my role as a loving parent. This card, keyed to the Queen of Cups, nurtures the emotional connections and understands the relationship based on how it feels. No matter what else is going on, at its core our relationship is strong and we love each other.
I like the way this image shows her holding up two bowls of water - enough to share and enough for oneself... it is a reminder that nurturing with love doesn't just mean trying to make the ther happy - it has to include self-nurturing as well.
I do like that this is our core connection - sometimes our actions don't reflect it, but for the most part there is basic trust that we care about each other. If anything, the emotional closeness we've developed over the last couple years may be a detriment to her getting out on her own... for my part, the instinct to not want to hurt her feelings does sometimes lead me to not say things that need to be said so that she will take on more personal responsibility. On her side, it means that there is less spur to motivate her out onto her own. (which, I think, is at the heart of recent frustrations... it is a compelling need to break loose of ties in order to become independent at her age. It's a lot tougher when those ties are otherwise positive, but it has to be done.)
I want: Six of Water (Pleasure)
Well, this is easy enough - I normally associate the 6 of Cups with nostalgia for the 'good old days' (which are usually much nicer in fantasy than they were in reality). I was a little surprise to see it because of that association - I don't at all want things to be as they used to be between us - - our relationship is much better than it was when she was longer (as is our life, in terms of stress).
So, ignoring that particular association, I'm simply looking at the card... decorative bowls nestled in flowers and lush green leaves and water flowing into them... they're arranged in such a way that it creates a fountain, each bowl getting its fill. It is harmony.... everything runs smoothly to create a smoothly running place of beauty.
And that's it.. right now, I want some step up of a desire on her part to help make our home run smoothly. She's not inclined to do things without being asked, and when I do ask I have to ask repeatedly before it happens. She doesn't directly say she thinks she shouldn't have to... it's just that it's still all very task based and waiting to be nagged into it. And where this relates to her growing independence is that if she can't start independently managing her bits of responsibility here in our shared home, how will she manage herself in her own?
I want her to do this firstly because a grown able bodied person should be doing her portion to create a pleasant environment, and secondly because it has become the main sign I'm looking for that she's ready to move into her own adulthood.
But I think perhaps I might focus more on simply the immediate concern of wanting a pleasant home to live in instead of putting such large import into household tasks.
I need: III - Grand Mother (Creativity)
This is keyed to the Empress - the higher, wiser archetype of the Queens. I like that here she is depicted as "Grandmother" - she's got age and experience on her side and can take the long view...she's the caretaker of long term growth.
She holds the child in her lap... I need to remember the child my daughter was. She has a full pot of corn she's harvested, with more growing for the next season - I need to remember that this, like each step before, is a stage and growth is happening... the turtle reminds me that it is a slow process and requires patience.
This is what I need... to remember that this is only a part of a larger cycle, and if it is a little frustrating now...well, we've passed through other frustrating stages together before, and in many ways she's only now reflecting what I tried to teach her while she was younger.... the lessons I'm trying to instill now may not become visible for awhile yet, but they are growing within her.
I think I need most to trust myself and her to continue to grow in maturity.
I get: Daughter of Earth (Creativity)
And here I get my confirmation of that - keyed to the Page of Pentacles, this is my daughter, the beginning of the journey toward becoming her own Empress. She's a Taurus and reflects those qualities strongly... a desire for comfort, a slowness and solidity that often exhibits as stubbornness but also a strong loyalty - once she gets something, it sticks.
So interesting that this card highlights creativity - it seems the secret here is to create a situation where she can feel as if her actions are her own, done her way and with that pride of creation.. not just doing things my way according to my instruction. I think I can work with that, and - another confirmation - hook into my own desire for a pleasant home to urge her to work with that goal in mind rather than just 'because I said so' or out of a sense of responsibility.
If I can alter my focus that little bit, I think perhaps she'll get it and begin to own some of the responsibility/pleasure of helping to create that beauty.
Final Advice: Father of Water (Sensitivity)
Here I see the more proactive version of the Queen of Cups, not simply feeling love and nurturing her emotionally, but being alert and aware of the emotional impact of our life together. With this, comes understanding of her feelings and my own, and using them to problem solve (as, I think, I am doing now).
It also indicates a need to stay aware of my feelings and in control of them - not let frustration side track me from my purpose here. This figure stands in a pool of water, but not so deeply as the Mother does, and he carries ears of corn.. the same that the Empress has harvested, a reminder that there is a balance here between the needs of the day, and the longterm growth that comes from these smaller moments.
Overall, this whole reading seems to be a reminder to not place too much emphasis on what isn't entirely the way I'd like it, but to take it in smaller parts and focus on the positive results - her independence will come in time. For today, remembering to treat each other with sensitivity and compassion is the most important thing to help develop my relationship with her.