Journey in 78 Steps

Daily Draw: VII - Advancement (The Chariot)

The image here is of a longhaired figure cruising along on a Segway, and smashing through a fence to get where he wants to go.  In his path in front of him is a crab (I initially thought it was a turtle).  The time is indefinable... it's dark, full of stars and a crescent moon... but the sun is inexplicably still up.

Ok, I have to confess - this was the card that made me decide I wanted this deck.  A few years ago, on my job, I got a chance to test out a Segway (way back before anyone knew what they were), and when I saw this card, I had to laugh.

The thing about the way the Segway works is that, once you learn how to use it (which takes a very short amount of time), it almost seems to operate telepathically - the balancing mechanism adjust itself through very minute shifts in you feet, just as we do naturally to maintain our balance while standing.  Forward motion is handled by leaning forward slightly, slowing down by leaning back, ever so slightly.  So, in just a few minutes of getting used to it (the primary issue with them is that there is an initial instinctive attempt to resist that responsiveness.. we're not used to tools that seemingly read our thoughts and respond before we've consciously decided to do something) and trusting that it won't topple over when we get on or off - the balancing act it does while stationary is almost magically - learning to use the Segway is mostly about unlearning our knowledge about the limitations of mechanical devices.

It's not the perfect tool... as the trainer explained the day we were cruising around the parking lot learning how to ride, it handles puddles and icy patches about as well as we would on foot - which often is not very well at all.

And I sure wouldn't try crashing through a fence with it.

But that aside - it can get you somewhere as fast as you could go running, without the attendent weariness, and if you are in a situation where you'd be wearing body armor and needing to move fast without getting worn out  (the reason why we were testing them), they can be extremely useful.  They are able to make a difficult task into one that is seemingly effortless, so you have more energy for doing the real work once you're there.

So, with this card, you've got it all together - even the sky is not the limit, with everything celestial available all at once.  This guy doesn't accept limitations - he apparently doesn't even see them, as he looks straight ahead to where he wants to go, smashing through barriers as if they don't exist.

There is some hazards in this attitude - did that fence really have to be destroyed? Was its destruction worth not finding a detour?  And that poor crab - emotional concerns - is about to get run right over and I don't think he's even paying attention to that possibility.

Advancement is a good thing... advancement  without regard for consequences, not so much.  And while a nearly telepathic vehicle that feels effortless is a lot of fun, the surest way to fall off is overconfidence and failure to notice slippery patches in the path ahead.

Daily Draw: XVI - Demolition (The Tower)

Starting right off with a 'dark' card!

In this version of the Tower, there is a city scape in the ackround with buildings that have been destroyed - half fallen down, dark smoke pouring out of them.  A dark cloud zaps lightning at one, and the remaining sky is a deep, bruised red.

In the foreground, standing in rubble of buildings and metal framework, is a man with a sledgehammer raised to his right shoulder - he looks like he is about to swing it, and his facial expression seems to be a person yelling. 

At his feet, a golden crown lies in the rubble.

Behind him, a fresh shoot of a small plant is growing - already, the breakdown of 'civilization' in this card is creating room for nature to reassert herself with new life.

On second glance, I'm not sure if that is smoke rising from the destroyed city, or a dark tornado whipping through causing the destruction.

Maybe it doesn't matter - when things fall apart, it's is sometimes difficult to separate the cause from the effect.

The keyword is striking me...'demolition' is a conscious act - it is not simply wanton destruction and it doesn't happen to you.. it's something you do.  There are layers of things happening here... the outside force of the weather bringing down the city, and the intentional demolition being done by the figure.

Sometimes, in the face of a disaster, demolition is a necessary response.  Sometimes things have become so damaged that they are unsafe and in order to rebuild, you have to first intentionally complete the destruction in order to haul away the debris in order to start fresh.

The crown on the ground speaks to me of not standing on your royalty here... not simply looking about saying 'this is my kingdom' and trying to hold it together when it's well past the point of viability.  Sometimes, rulership means knowing when to take it apart.

The plant is the sign of hope here, and a reminder of reality... life IS and growth will happen with even the tiniest bit of room to let it happen.  And for all the monuments we build and rebuild, the end of our constructs is not the end of life - they are not the definer's of life on earth.  Nature is reality, and will assert itself and it is hubris to  think we are more powerful than it is.

What does this mean for me today?  Well... my house looks a bit like a tornado came through.  I''ve got a clutter problem that is stemming in large part from a lack of space to put things away... I think I need to stop pushing the rubble around and get rid of some stuff, as well as break down my existing storage plan and start over.

I'm not sure I'm going to actually get through all that today, but it does define the nature of the problem.

Daily Draw: 2 of Hats (Cups)

‘Who are you talking to?’ said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity.

‘It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,’ said Alice: ‘allow me to introduce it.’

‘I don’t like the look of it at all,’ said the King: ‘however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.’

‘I’d rather not,’ the Cat remarked.

‘Don’t be impertinent,’ said the King, ‘and don’t look at me like that!’ He got behind Alice as he spoke.

‘A cat may look at a king,’ said Alice. ‘I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.’

‘Well, it must be removed,’ said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, ‘My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!’

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. ‘Off with his head!’ she said, without even looking round.

‘I’ll fetch the executioner myself,’ said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.

~ Alice in Wonderland, Chapter 8. Lewis Carroll

In this version of the two of Cups, we see one of literature's most cantankerous couples - the King and Queen of Hearts.  The King is full of bluster and insistance on rules, while the Queen truly does have  one solution for everything (but very little actual follow through).  For all that, though, the two of them do get along well with each other - evidence, I supposed, that there is someone for everyone.

The Cheshire cat in this image beams down on them, head only and doesn't look at all worried that they are intending to have him executed - in fact, a few moments from now, while they're debating how on earth to behead a cat with no body, he'll simply fade from view and be done with the whole thing.

Along with the realization that even cranky people can find love, what strikes me about this is that the 2 of Cups doesn't always indicate perfect love - it is a union, certainly, but it encompasses the full range of romantic unions - not just the hearts and flowers variety, but the dysfunctional versions as well.

This couple is so disturbed by the higher spirit of love that they are quickly agreeing to kill it off and only arguing about how to go about it.  And I think of habitual arguers that never seem to either get over  the arguing or get out (I've been that person), and how much that arguing habit makes love as anyone might recognize it simply fade away before they can agree to kill it off.

These two are getting a pay off for continuing this behavior.. if nothing else, who else would have them?  Dysfunctional love is love of a sorts, but not one that will make the situation happy or even bearable for those around them.

When the 2 of Cups comes up in a reading it's probably a very good idea to remember it only symbolizes a union - it does not promise a happily ever after or trouble free life.

Daily Draw: 2 of Flamingos (Swords)

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.'

`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself.

`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.

~ Alice in Wonderland, Chapter 5. Lewis Carroll

In this deck, swords are flamingos and this version of the 2 of Swords shows the Caterpillar (minus hookah) sitting on a large mushroom with his hands on a pair of flamingos who are facing in opposite directions.  Behind the mushroom there is a large body of water, relatively calm, with land masses jutting from the water and seen in the distance on the horizon.  Overhead, a crescent moon looks down.

I tend to see the 2 of Swords as a 'stalemate' card, where the figure can't see to decide which choice to make... but seeing this Caterpillar, with his lackadaisical personality, I'm struck by the idea that it's more not bothering to make a choice... mental procrastination, because what does it really matter which choice is made - one's as good as the other, and besides I can figure it out tomorrow.

The flamingos with their outstretched necks look like they're ready to launch into flight if he ever decides to give the word, but he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to do so.

What's not in this image is any sense of stress - to be fair, it's not in the original RWS image either, though I almost always put it there.  Here, the Caterpillar looks comfortable - he's on his own turf - and has no crying need to put these flamingos into motion.

In fact, in the passage above, it's Alice that wants the decision made, not the Caterpillar... he sees no reason to be any size other than the one he is, or why Alice isn't just as content as he is with her size.  So sure, eat the mushroom, get bigger or smaller if you like.. but it doesn't even occur to him to tell her which side will do which.  He absolutely doesn't see a point to her dilemma.

It makes me want to consider this card in light of the way sometimes we need information in order to make a choice that matters to us, and the most tedious part is getting those that have the information to understand our need enough to tell us what we need to know in a timely manner.  Sometimes, the 'stalemate' comes because those around us totally don't get or care about  whatever it is that concerns us so they move at a very slow pace if they move at all.

Frustrating, but I don't think it makes them wrong necessarily.. I used to keep a sign on my desk that said "Your emergency is not necessarily my crisis.", put there to warn off a few colleagues who didn't seem to want to have to tie their shoes on their own without getting me involved.

I don't know that judgement of the motivation is even needed here.. for good or bad this card is describing that condition where someone isn't hooked into the importance of a decision that needs to be made. Or that someone thinks needs to be made.

Daily Draw: VIII - Strength

`Who are at it again?' she ventured to ask.

`Why the Lion and the Unicorn, of course,' said the King.

`Fighting for the crown?'

`Yes, to be sure,' said the King: `and the best of the joke is, that it's my crown all the while! Let's run and see them.' And they trotted off, Alice repeating to herself, as she ran, the words of the old song:

`The Lion and the Unicorn
  were fighting for the crown:
The Lion beat the Unicorn
  all round the town.
Some gave them white bread,
some gave them brown:
Some gave them plum-cake
and drummed them out of town.'

`Does -- the one -- that wins -- get the crown?' she asked, as well as she could, for the run was putting her quite out of breath.

`Dear me, no!' said the King. `What an idea!'

~ Through the Looking Glass, Chapter 7.  Lewis Carroll

This version of the Strength card depicts a battle that takes place daily 'for the crown' while the King and his court watches and then everyone enjoys an afternoon of dining together (at least until the drums start).

If they're not fighting with the crown as prize, they they must be fighting 'for the crown' as in 'on behalf of' - and while they battle fiercely (the King at one point chides the Unicorn for 'running the Lion through') once the battle is over, they are friends and it is clear that the battle itself is an act they are engaging in as partners.

So, what's this say to me about Strength as depicted in this card?

First, that this is not a one-time battle, but one that that is fought every day - and there is no clear winner...sometimes the natural self wins, and sometimes the fantastic 'pure' self wins, but underneath that struggle there is the reality that they are not enemies...only combatants.  It's the striving that matters, more than which side comes out on top.

Secondly, they are 'fighting for the crown'.. for our own sense of autonomy - they each play a part in our becoming masters of ourself.  One side or another doesn't 'win the crown' - here again, it is the struggle that benefits the king. It doesn't take away that  authority.

And finally, the end of the fight is integration and a coming together for nourishment of all aspects.. the Lion and the Unicorn are both fed in the presence of the King and onlookers - the battle is appreciated and welcomed and the next round is something to be looked forward to.

This sort of Strength is sporting... there is joy in the challenge of striving together - of testing ourselves when we are faced with difficulties.  It isn't morality - it's ethics.  There is no inherent right or wrong, not a 'good guy' and a 'bad guy'... it is in the wrestling with ethical choices that we learn how we decide - if our instincts or our ideals take  the day, and the result of the battle in turn strengthens our rulership over our own lives.

And it isn't something to be feared, this ongoing struggle... there is joy in it and a sense of fun and excitement - we can approach our daily challenges as a cheering audience, with curiousity and interest about how it will all come out, rather than grim fright that we might choose the wrong approach.

Our struggles make us strong.

Daily Draw: Small Medicine Wheel (Wheel of Fortune)

A sandpainted mandala is laid out on the dirt.  At the center of the wheel is a circle of red surrounded by orange (and on down the rainbow - orange to yellow, to purple, to blue), with lightning bolts emanating from it.  It is crossed by horizontal and vertical lines that are colored purple and on top of the crosshairs there is a white bird flying toward me. 

Along the outer edge of the circle there are twelve stones.  The stones at the crosshairs are decorated with animal symbols - a buffalo to the north, an eagle feather to the east, a coyote to the south and a bear to the west.

Rimming the wheel is a zigzag patterned band of green and red.  The crosshairs along this band are colored - white to the north, yellow to the east green to the south and black to the west.

This image of the wheel is both peaceful and powerful - each of the animals depicted are strong in their own way, but they seem to be neither controlled by, nor attempting to control the whole - they each have their place.  The most stand out image is that of the white bird (at first glance, I thought it was an owl, but it isn't) in the center.  This is the only 'living' image - the rest are drawn on stone, and it is also the only moving image and it is in the place of spirit.

Ground and center, baby, no matter what's happening - apply the right sort of power to the situation. I do like that this Wheel focuses on the response, rather than the stimulus.

So... update to yesterday's 5 of Pents, with its cracked bowl - yes, I needed to be aware of what was underneath my daughter's moodiness... but these bowls show up in the Water suit in this deck (some of them cracked) and guess what?  A water pipe in the basement cracked, sending us running to find plastic bins to contain the water that backed up into the tub (something obviously clogged a pipe and the pressure cracked a joint) and was raining down into the basement.

So.... once again, no water...cracked water containers and no water, and a rather  precarious home situation...hah!

And today...stay calm and centered at this latest bit of randomosity.  I've already heard from the landlady and there should be a visit from the plumber sometime today.

Daily Draw: Five of Earth (Insecurity)

The over all color of this card is brown - dusty greyish brown.  It feels cold and dry.  In the background is an old stone building that may be abandoned - there is no glass in the windows or light coming from them.  A low wall is visible on the right side of it.

In the foreground, a cracked bowl contains two ears of corn, and three more are on the ground in front of the bowl, with a scattering of kernels on the dusty ground beneath them.  There is nothing growing - just bare ground, stone, and this corn, which looks dried, old and dusty.

Blackbirds are swooping around the building, one looks as if it is about to fly down and eat the corn - they are the only still-living creatures in the scene and they are scavengers and omens of death.

The sky is grey and cloudy, full of the threat (or promise) of rain - though it doesn't look like it rains often here.... it may not be safe to count on what those clouds might bring.

This is a very evocative image and "insecurity" is a good word for the sense it evokes - the corn is not safe from the birds... neither the bowl or stone building is secure from the elements in the damaged state.  Even the birds are not safe - once this bit of corn is gone, there will be nothing left to eat.

My Ace of Wands from yesterday turned out to be a blow up from my daughter... she's been acting cranky and confrontational for a few days now, with no explanation for it and last night she  interrupted me when I was speaking with her younger sister to make an (irrelevent) accusatory observation and when it was protested (I asked her to mind her tone and stop trying to pick fights over meaningless stuff), got extremely offended at the suggestion that her attitude was the reason she'd gotten a negative reaction - and proceeded to have a two hour temper tantrum about it.

Which pretty well confirmed that her attitude is a factor..heh.  It was a bit marvelous to behold - she's 19, not 13, and this doesn't happen often anymore.  In the midst of that, attempting to get at what's underneath it was impossible, so that question is on my mind this morning while I wait to see whether or not it's passed or if today we're continuing in the same vein.

And I think this card is pointing to that underlying reason - she's at the point where she wants to be out on her own, but she's not in much of a position to do it yet.... all she's got is a cracked bowl and a sense of precariousness.. no reserves for dealing with what  it takes to be independent and secure.  And I do think that right now she's not yet grasped that she has to build that security - not wait for it to be handed to her.  Lately, she's both leaning hard on my support while rejecting and resenting needing it.

I can understand that, but I would really prefer to see her expending her energy in taking on more of her own self-care rather than stomping around the house like a caged tiger.  Ah well.. the joys of being the parent of a nearly-adult, I guess.

I will try today to see past the bluster and remember the image on this card and the arid hopelessness it reveals.

Daily Draw: Ace of Fire (Power)

An upward pointing arrow rises up from the center of a campfire burning n the middle of a bare plateau.  The arrow's tip is on fire and smoke is rising from the fires.

The center of the arrow is directly in front of a rising sun, and mountains surrounding the level place where the fire is, are blazing gold and orange from the reflected light of the sun.  At first glance, the glow of the sun on the hills look like fiery wings about to launch the arrow into flight.

The sky is orange, pink, purple and blue from the rising sun and covered in high, fast moving clouds.

Heat...light...upward movement.  I imagine that the night in this desert place was cold... the ground is purple and still touched by the pre-dawn reality of the place, but as the sun rises it will grow hot with the day. The potential and probability are here that before the day is over, everything will be touched by fire.

The alignment of fire in this card appeals to me - fire grounds the arrow, fire is the tip - the part that hits its target, and the fire of the sun bisects it bringing in universal will and energy to the potential energy of this one lone flaming arrow.

I like seeing this ace - for as much as I haven't been writing here I have been doing, dealing with some long overdue organizational issues (too much stuff, not enough house to contain it neatly).  My inclination to communicate hasn't been so high but I am learning I needn't try to be at my peak about everything all at once.  I'm focusing where I need to.

Daily Draw: Four of Air (Contemplation)

What a beautiful image this is! 

A pool of water in a valley between two low hilly areas is reflecting the light of a low full moon.  One very small and mass is juts out of the pool on the lower right side of the card, but otherwise, the water is featureless with gentle ripples.

The sky overhead is bright from the light of the moon, deep purple and high thin clouds that glow purple.  The hills are grassy green and also featureless.

Four eagle feathers are suspended in the sky, laid out parallel to one another in horizontal rows.

Everything about this card is calm and serene and though it is night, it is well lit by the moon.  The solitude of this place is welcoming.

The keyword on this card is 'contemplation' and it strikes me that this is a different way of thinking than analysis would be.  There is a sense of detachment from outcome here... no need to solve anything, no conflict, and clarity comes from lunar, receptive energy.

The standard 4 of Swords usually points to healing by taking a break from thinking, and that is here too, though the image is much more positive to me than the usual person laying down to recuperate.  That sense of 'taking a break from thinking' shows here as an interior silence to make room for the peace and serenity of this place to fill one's being.  This is meditation, not ducking and hiding.

The layout of the four feathers also strikes me... if these are thoughts they are laid out for view so that none hides the other or crosses it in conflict... they are able to be beheld individually and collectively so that their differences and similarities can be understood without immediately leaping to the belief that they won't work well together.

This card is adding to and confirming a key point of my reading the other day - I need to practice this sort of contemplative detachment and make regular time to find my place of solitude and peace.

Daily Draw - VII: The Chariot

The first thing I notice about this Chariot card is how very blue it is, which makes me think that this perhaps has more to do with the subconscious and watery emotional world than with control over one's external situation.

The Charioteer stands straight, looking ahead, with a staff in his right hand and a bolt of lightning in his left, wearing a tunic of green and blue.  He is framed by a red knotwork square curtain and in front of him are two horses that seem to be one horse with two front halves galloping off in opposite directions.  The two horses are purple and blue and are covered in stars... night and day? dawn and dusk?

Below the horses there is a golden mist streaming from their legs suggesting fast movement and perhaps daylight - I am thinking this is a celestial charioteer - a Sun god traveling across the sky.

There is some colorful knotwork below the horses, between their feet, that looks like a vase of flowers - the movement of the chariot promoting growth, which further suggests this might be something related to the Sun.

Behind the Chariot, the background is composed of purple weave and the border that surrounds it is made of a blue swirling pattern that looks like moving water.

There is a synergy here of motion and stillness - stability as a force for directed energy.  The celestial qualities here suggest that the skill of the Charioteer is such that he is able to ride toward his destiny (the ride across the sky of the Zodiac) and remain in control of the path.  He has learned how to bring these horses together in spite of their tendency to head off in opposite directions, and the result of his progress on his destined path is growth.

The red curtain shows that his calm center comes from the stabilization of his will, and this gives him the serenity to handle the emotional and spiritual transistions he is traveling through without losing control of his own path. 

There's a very nice balance here - this Charioteer neither hides from his destiny (those forces beyond his control), nor does he attempt to conquer it by brute force - instead, he exerts control by pulling existing elements together that might otherwise not be able to be used together, and harnesses them for his purpose.  The message I see here is to use one's challenges to propell you down your path, instead of leaving them behind or attempting to slow down their energy.  And the key to doing that, it seems, comes from the Charioteer himself.. he knows what he wants and brings that desire along down the larger path so that no matter what is happening beyond his reach... whether it's the bright light of day or the darkness of night, his goals cannot be left behind.