Journey in 78 Steps

Reading - Spiritual Exploration

This will be my last day with the Osho Zen Tarot here for now, so I decided to do a small reading with it before putting it away.

In recent days, my friend M. and I have been looking into a couple collective spiritual organizations and one in particular has sparked a high enough level of interest that I thought I'd read on what my own focus should be in exploring actual involvement with a spiritual body - I tend to be as non-joiner and very eclectic, so it's rare when I even consider actively picking one path to walk, even for a time.

What I have:
Ace of Water (Go with the Flow)

An indistinct figure is floating in a large pool of water in which soft waves are rising and falling - the water is blue and empty and the figure appears to be naked and shallowly submerged in the water itself.  The figure's posture is relaxed and reminds me of a loose version of the Hanged Man's posture - one leg tucked lightly behind  the other, the left hand tucked behind the head while the other floats outward comfortably from the body.

I love this image - I have occasional dreams of being in this environment, where there is no weight pulling me down and soft rocking waves sooth and caress.

This is what I have - the ability to float freely in the sea of spiritual exploration with no need to pick a spot of solid ground.  I can let it cradle me without clinging to it, go where it takes me without being driven toward or away from any specific path.  And because this is an Ace, this method leaves me open to serendipitous opportunities to explore areas I haven't consciously considered before with an open heart.

What you need to know:
10 of Rainbows (We are the World)

The world is suspended in a starry universe and ringed with a rainbow hued ring of dancers holding hands.  A glowing aura surrounds the whole, creating a mandala.

What I need to know as I explore specific collective religious groups is that we *are* connected already - this isn't about 'joining' because we are already joined.  It is about finding a group in which I can acknowledge that connection.  This also tells me what my main criteria is ... do they honor this inherent connection, or identify themselves by how they differ from the whole?

While each figure is in a different position in their dance and each wears a different hue, together they are one - this respect for both diversity and similarity is important to me, and I will need to be sure that any group I commune with share that basic ideal.

The other thing this card suggests to me stems from the standard 10 of Pentacles, which for me has to do with legacy and gifts from the past.  While those organizations I tend to be intrigued about are not ancient traditions (indeed, most are quite modern in foundation), it is important to me that there be a some respect for traditional inspirations for their modern practice - to be neither so stuck on tradition that they lose sight of contemporary need or so loose in their orientation that they feel no connection at all to the spirituality of those who came before us.  Mainly, I'd like to be with people who understand the history of their own faith and don't treat speculation as fact or reject any interest in the history and origins of their spiritual metaphors, so these are things I will want to research.

What I need to do:
0: The Fool

A figure wearing a brightly colored diamond patterned tunic with a white loose shirt underneath, green pants and red boots has stepped off the edge of a cliff as if it isn't there - the figure is suspended at a point where the next step could be a crashing fall or - as the posture appears to suggest - take off flying.

The figures arms are held out away from the body like a bird's wings.  The right hand holds a white flower up toward the moon... almost as if toasting the moon with it.

The moon itself is a very tiny crescent and stars surround it, though there is a bright sunny glow rising along the horizon.

Far below there are hills covered in trees and some sort of river or road running between them, as well as numerous clouds indicating how high up this image is.  Directly below there is some sort of soft pink misty glow - I get the sense that even if the figure falls, it will be a falling into something welcoming and soft.  There is no fear here and no need for it.

So what I need to do as I approach this exploration is ... have fun with it, trust the essential goodness and safety of both Spirit and humanity ...  trust that I will not be hurt if I let myself go and experience a group religious gathering without holding myself apart or playing it cautious and suspicious.

(If that sounds easy, it's not.)

Something I really like about this trio of cards here - all three of them show figures that are reminiscent of the Hanged Man (sacrificing preconceptions to let things happen), which in turn is reminiscent of the dancing figure on the World card - which is slammed home by this 10 of Rainbows, showing dancers dancing collectively.

The message is simple and clear - get out of my own way once I'm sure that a group is affirming of that connectedness and just experience the connection for what it is.

I feel like breathing a large sigh of relief.

Lammas Spread

I'm using the Lammas Spread created by Astraea Aurora in this Aeclectic thread.

As a I was shuffling, a card 'jumped' the deck and landed at the floor by my feet, and I decided to use this as the 'center' of the reading.. it's over-all theme.

Queen of Coins
The Queen of Coins in this card shows a motherly woman, with a calm, kind face.  She is wearing an ornate gold and black tapestry gown covered in green velvet trimmed with gold.  She has a pendant (it looks like a sapphire surrounded by diamonds) and a gold coin serves as a brooch decorating a white veil that covers her head and is topped by a golden crown.  Behind her head is a large gold coin acting as a halo.  The landscape behind her shows a white castle, a grey dog and a bird nesting - it is very pastoral, rich and placid.  Her expression seems very knowing... she's looking straight out of the card at me though her head is tilted slightly.

The simplest phrase that comes to mind to tell me what this Queen wants me to understand about this reading is, 'Take care of your things."  That is, in this first harvest spread, the overall message is to worry less about harvesting what I don't yet have than it is in tending to what I do have already.  Any lack of calm or sense of lack comes from not caring for what is already a part of my world - peace doesn't come from getting, but from creating a secure haven out of what is already mine.

The corn. What is now fully grown? What is now on its climax?

Page of Coins

 A young man in a brown robe and dark red hooded hat stands facing his left.  He wears a necklace of gold coins, and appears to be a prosperous acolyte to me.  He is holding a large coin with a hole in the center with his left hand, while his right is held up in what might be a blessing, but almost seems as if he's measuring the size of the coin.

There is a red robed angel with gold wings, either very small or in the distance, gazing at the youth and a shaggy ram laying on the ground at his feet.  Near the ram is an open book laying face up as if he were  recently consulting it.

Heavy clouds are low in the sky but overhead it is blue.  The youth stands on bare rock but lush green trees fill the scene behind him.

What strikes me here most is the way this page is holding up the coin and seemingly measuring it...perhaps comparing it to the size of the angel... like he's asking himself which is bigger...which is most important.  Here, now, this page seems to be asking me to explore the comparative value of material and spiritual abundance.  In this position though, it seems to be suggesting that I've been contemplating that question, and it's time to come to a conclusion about it.

I believe this has to do with choices I've been weighing and methods I've been using to research a path as a professional Tarot reader... it's time to make some decisions here about what I will and will not do - how to weigh spiritual concerns against  that of material concerns.  It's time for my research and exploration to bear fruit.

The scythe. What has to be reaped now? What has to die now?

Knight of Wands

 A knight in an ornate tapestry robe is riding leftward in front of a brick wall.  His horse is decked in a matching tapestry cover - ornate gold and black diamonds - this pair is decked out for show, not for battle. 

The knight is carrying a leafy branch wrapped in a banner on which are words in Latin.  I can see "I il ma....air Ionas affi.." but  I have no idea what that means, and the book merely refers to it as a 'message'. 

The ground where the rider is moving is dipped down - they are about to start climbing uphill.  A small fire is burning the grass near the wall.  On the wall in the upper left corner there is what I think is the bottom portion of a wall hanging - black with a repeated pattern of square and circle shapes made up of smaller motifs.

Now what the heck? I need to let go of effort to get some movement on my goals? That can't be right.  But it may be that it's time to let go of focusing my effort of putting out brushfires and worrying about others noticing that that is what I mostly seem to do. (yes, that sounds right) 

As I was writing this, I paused to have a brief discussion with my almost-SIL (who lives with us)...we were talking about how, between us, we've got some smallish but troubling debts to knock out and how, at the pace we were going and if we're willing to keep our expenses very tight, we could both have them all knocked out by the end of the year and agreeing that that was a positive vision.  It's one that requires that there be no major brushfires but for the first time in a couple of years, it looks doable.

I think that's it.. this knight is in a small valley, but things are about to look up... and he's passing that fire by, circling the building and but not 'sweating the small stuff' because he knows where he wants to go.  It's time to let go of living from emergency to emergency and to see a path and vision for a better future.  And the fancy dress?  Be proud along the way, but for myself, not for trying to impress anyone else - keep to my plan and don't worry about what others think of it or of where I am.

The freshly-baked bread. Or John Barleycorn. How can or should you use the harvest?

The Fool

A figure dressed in white with gold trim - she looks like a woman - and a jaunty red and gold bucket style hat is standing on the edge of a cliff looking out into the distance.  She holds up a large drum and is tapping at it with her left hand... moving in rhythm to her own beat.  A yellow dog is leaping up toward her - the dog looks happy to me, saying 'come on, let's go!'  The background is very dark and covered in dense greenery - but it looks more like a tapestry than a real woods.  The bit of of the rock showing from over the cliff is much brighter as if it is lighter where she's facing than where she's been - and it's as if she's stepping out of that tapestry into a bright life.

How can I use the harvest - the reaping of emergency thinking?  By accessing the energy of the Fool - trusting in the essential goodness of the universe to provide and allowing myself to enjoy the journey.  This Fool is banging her own drum and setting off with a song in her heart.  I hear her telling me "Don't worry - be happy" and she makes me smile.  I've felt I've been stalled in a starting-over position for a long time now... and yet, here she is, without fear, saying that it's a new day now, and it's a fine one in which to begin.

If I'm not worrying about emergencies and looking for the pitfalls I can enjoy the adventure of each day and see 'starting over' as a promise, not a threat.

The consecration of the first loaf of bread. How can you be grateful? Whom can you thank for his support through the last time?

10 of Coins

This is set in a walled-in garden filled with people - there is a woman reading, another plucking gold coins  from a tree into a basket on the ground, a third scooping water from a trough, and a fourth playing an instrument of some kind with a small child dressed in white.  Dogs are lazing in the grass among the people and a bird is singing in the foreground.

The overall sense here is of a productive yet pleasant domestic life filled with contented people.  I see the  elements hiding in the activities of these people... the coin tree representing Coins, the water trough for Water, the musical instrument for Fire (creative inspiration) and the book for Air (mental concerns).  There is wholeness and community in this setting.

And oh yes, I am very grateful for my family and we are whole and stable in a way that fills me with thanks.  My children are happy and we are peaceful together.  My oldest daughter is about to come out for a visit with her children, and my second oldest has just had her third child... no matter what else, I can look over the span of generations that have followed mine and know that this is good and this is wealth beyond price.

Mother Earth. What can now come to rest? How can you settle down and prepare for the quieter seasons?

6 of Wands

A troupe of men in what might be hunters' clothing are riding on white horses to the  right of the card. They carry long leafy staves - one with a tapestry banner, others with long white banners with writing on them.  They appear to be calm but determined as they walk through thick brush.  The main rider seems to be looking out of the card at me from the corner of his eye but his companions have their eyes turned up and ahead in the direction they're traveling.

The 6 of Wands usually speaks of victory and accolades and is often depicted as a journey home after battle. There is something about this image, though, that looks to me as if they are setting out and that it's less of a serious battle they're heading toward than a recreational hunting expedition. 

Now, I'm no hunter, but in the era of the images that make up these cards, hunting was a sport for royalty or a serious necessity in order to feed one's family - here it looks like sport, and victory would come from proving oneself to ones peers... and reaping the reward of feasting later on the meat.

So...what can come to rest as I begin the cycle of the year that prepares for the quiet of winter?  The search for other people's approval (connecting this to the card before it)?  The impulse to compete (I don't think so.. I'm not a big fan of competition). 

I'm not entirely sure how to take this and part of that is a problem with the spread position - what can come to rest and how can I settle down and prepare for winter are two different things.

What can come to rest?... the hunt for acknowledgement and victory (that is, you have it, no need to keep looking).

How can I settle down and prepare for winter?  Take pleasure in the process of 'stocking your larder' and preparing for a time when activity may be low - like a squirrel storing away nuts. If you have to do it, might as well make a game of it.

That second interpretation makes better sense to me.

The sun. What should you enjoy now?

Page of Swords

A young man with dark curly hair is standing, right hand on hip and holding a long sword upright with his left and looking at it.  There's an air of confidence in his stance.  Behind him there is a cow jumping over his head (like the cow jumping over the moon), and a butterfly is flitting by below his sword.

The sky is full of large puffy clouds and he stands on a mound of green grass - below, in the distance, a large body of water meets a sandy shore and there are green hills behind him.

This page does not appear to be in a defensive stance - rather he seems to be examining his sword and is rather proud of it.  The cow and butterfly add a sense of playful imagination to the scene, which looks entirely peaceful other than the possible storm that might develop from those clouds.

What I can enjoy now is the imaginative exploration of ideas (such as Tarot!) - and I do, very much.  But what also comes to mind here is conversation with my children and friends, and that may be because I have been on the phone all day long today - with my daughters, my mother-in-law (her son is out of my life but thank goodness, 'nana' is still there), a friend of mine who lives a few hours away.  I talk to all of them occasionally, but rarely all on the same day, and each conversation was interesting and pleasant in its own way with little in the way of negative venting or unhappy topics.

I don't always enjoy too much talking all at once, but right now I truly am in a place that wants to connect to those I care about.  There's something about this that feels like healing and a repairing of some cracks in my connections.  Good stuff.

The season. What changes now?

Ace of Wands

A fiery golden angel with red wings, and a leafy wreath in her hair is kneeling on the ground, surrounded by flames.  She holds a leafy wand in her left hand and a white flower in her right, which she's raised to her face as if to smell it.  On the ground in front of her there is an open book and a candlestick.

Oh I do like seeing this.... perhaps that energy I've been searching for is finally due to arrive - a change in energy... new inspiration.  I'd like to catch fire in a way that doesn't immediately pass.

I really like that in the midst of all that flame and heat, this angel still is taking a moment to smell a flower... there's a nice little reminder there about sustained energy... don't forget to take a break now and then and slow down.  That right there might express the sort of change this card describes ... one where there is a more balanced understanding of how to use my energy so that it remains steady, instead of quick bursts and the need to recover, which just interrupts the flow of everything I try to do.  I'm going to contemplate this some more.

The Indian summer. What lies ahead of you?

The Star

A long haired young woman, nude other than a pair of sandals, holds two pitchers in her hands and is pouring out the right one.  She stands at the edge of a pool of water in which a small mer-man is swimming.  Some sort of sleek animal that also looks as if it might be partially human is curled up in a pile of leaves behind her and a well groomed fluffy white dog stands at her feet. A rabbit is leaping out of a bush behind the dog. Behind her is a lush pastoral scene... hills, a lake, and thatched cottages.  In the sky overhead, there are 8 stars, one of them slightly larger and radiating a single wide bewam down onto the landscape behind her.

There is an air of the fantastic with the creatures that surround this woman - is she in a place that is unreal or is there something about her that lets her connect with the unseen?  Either way, she seems to be blending this imaginative, visionary quality with the grounded 'normal' setting that surrounds her - she's open to these fantastic creatures and they respond to her... she's one of them.

I get this image of her clothes somewhere in a bundle nearby...and in a bit, she'll put them on and head home, into a life where no one knows what she sees when she's out gathering water - she takes this task and turns it into a miniature vacation into a strange and wonderful land full of 'imaginary friends'.

I really like this card - if the Star is about hope and faith this one is that faith that believes in what isn't seen - more than anything I see this as an opening up of the visionary aspect of working (playing) with Tarot and I'm delighted to end this reading with the promise of this to come.

Over all this has been a gentle and meandering reading and a very pleasant first look at this deck.

Deviant Moon Lunatic Spread

I've been working on this for days - the actual reading was done on the 18th with short notes in my private journal, but I wanted to put up something coherent and with images here.  This involved more fussing with my scanner than I would have liked and it hit me during a not so verbal phase - so chipping it it bit by bit...

I didn't ask a question other than what should I be aware of covering the next couple of months.  The spread itself is the one that's included with the Deviant Moon deck (which comes with a paper tarot cloth showing this same spread).  Lots of hidden' stuff and influences, with I think is perfectly compatible with a deck devoted to offkilter lunar concerns.

The Inquirer: Present Day - self and all circumstances in your present position in life

THE LOVERS

A pale woman and dark man are standing on a sandy shore near a large pool or water, locked in an intimate embrace - the woman's right leg is lifted upward (as if about to wrap it around his hip and pull him closer) and her head is tilted back as he nuzzles her neck.  Her eyes are closed but his are open and gazing at her.  They are both naked other than a red flat cap with yellow triangles trimming the edge which the man is wearing.  A snake is on the ground near the man's left foot and has bit him just above the ankle.

In the distance, and reflected in the pool, there is a line of mountains - the general color of the sand, pool, mountains and even the sky is brownish-gold.  Hanging over the couple is a full moon with a face smiling at them and a ray of mist emanating toward the couple from the moon, as if it is blowing moondust down on them.

This is an overtly sexual depiction of the Lovers.  The snake provides a hint of Adam and Eve (warning, perhaps, of the cost of giving over oneself to love).  The couple show a contrast between the full moon and dark moon - here, it is the male that is the dark moon figure and yet he is also the one in the active 'taking' position while the full moon female is shown as the more receptive one, eyes closed, receiving a kiss. This suggests to me  that the choice to Love requires letting one's irrational inner self take over...and one's conscious persona be willing to receive and not be in full control of what happens.

I wonder if the real cost the snake represents is that 'knowledge' makes it hard to let go and receive love without counting the cost? (I actually have a whole different take on Adam and Eve... but musing from within the traditional mythical construct here)

So.. this is where I am right now... making choices that involve my relationship with those I love, and needing to let go...stop counting that cost and give into it...trust that, just as the Moon here blesses the union, it will be all right.  And beyond my relationship with others there is the aspect of consciously stepping back and letting myself be seduced by my own dark moon inner self.

Past Influences - events from the past that shape the present

THE EMPRESS

A pale woman in a purple cloak and blue and gold headdress sits on a concrete stool on top of a black and white checkered floor that is surrounded by a lush wild garden.  Under the purple cloak, the woman appears to have a sharply ridged spine (like a leaf edge or lizard) and a thick green appendage that seems to be a tail comes from under the cloak and wraps around the woman's foot and up to her arm, where it becomes a green stem wrapping around her wrist and ending in an orange tuliplike flower that she holds.

The woman has a double set of breasts (the better to feed you with, my dear) and dark hair under the headdress.  In the sky, there is a waning crescent moon in the upper left corner.

The first thing that strikes me is the checkered floor - while the Empress is goddess of growing things, she still sits on a solid orderly foundation.  The other thing that gets me is that tail that seems to be both animal and plant - contained with in her is all living things, and the multiple breasts with which to sustain and nourish them.

It is my aspect as mother which has most profoundly shaped my past and impacts my present when it comes to relationships of all sorts - no matter who I am involved with, my parenthood is a part of the puzzle.  No matter what choices I make in terms of connectedness, my relationship with my children must be factored in.  And my way of relating to them impacts how I tend to relate to others.  In parenthood, especially, there is a need to give into the needs of the relationship and not count the cost (at least not after you've taken that step - and I took mine while just on the brink of adulthood, so I do not have any other way of being to compare this to - whatever else changes around me, I am now and always will be a mother).

Subconscious Influences - Underlying forces in the inquirer's mind, dreams, subconscious thoughts

10 of SWORD

A golden hairless figure (reminds me of a buddha having a very, very bad day) is crammed into a small wooden box. Ten swords have been thrust into the box and are trapping or piercing the figure and a look of agony is on the figure's face.  Swords pierce his nose, his heart region, his left hand (lifted up as if to say, "Stop! No more!" his left forearm and knee and his left foot.  Meanwhile his right side limbs are completely trapped by swords so he is unable to move or resist the onslaught.

Ouch... So first thought... "I don't feel that way!" and then heh... subconscious, my dear - this is where the denial happens.

And the truth is, this is where I have lived for the last few years - betrayed, boxed in and trapped by the details of my marriage breaking up... the details aren't necessary here... that deep down, I'm still carrying this is.

This card is utterly grim - there's no glint of a new day dawning and it reminds me of one of those horrible tests in the Saw movies... if you want to get out you're going to have to yank yourself off those swords and be willing to cut by a few more of them and then you have to figure out how to get out of that box. 

So subconsciously, I'm still here - I've worked to consciously not feel this way, but that's been mainly by sitting very still and not thinking about it.  This card is letting me know that I'm going to have to actually work my way out of the devastation or I'm still here, whether I acknowledge it or not.

Like I say...ouch.

Secret Desires and Wishes - Hopes and dreams not yet realized

THE FOOL

An here is the opposite of that boxed in golden child - the Fool, tromping freely through a shallow pool (there are gondolas - this is a watery street) and playing with the fishes. 

The Fool here is of the dark moon and there is a waxing moon in the sky - he may not appear to be doing much other than playing, but this is a time of growth.  The Fool wears a red and white striped outfit that could be a jester's costume, but looks more like a pair of pajamas and nightcap.  While everyone sleeps, he's out frolicking.

And yes.. hopes and dreams not yet realized... to be free and playful without any cares and without always having to consider what might go wrong.  This Fool is enjoying the world of emotions and intuition (not impaled by thoughts and strategies) and has a deep unabashed trust that things will be ok and can take care of themselves.  This looks like a good place to be and yes, I would like this .. or at least more of this... in my life.

Hidden Influences - Unseen powers that affect the inquirer
9 of CUPS

Here we go again... the 9 of Cups continues to turn up for me in readings all over the place, usually in some sort of 'unseen' context.

In this version, there is a dark moon figure dressed in a tailored brown outfit and a tight pigtail sitting on the beach near a body of water.  The figure is holding a lamp from which a dark genii has appeared, surrounded by a ring of golden cups.  The genii has a 'third eye' in the midle of his forehead.  There is a waning moon hanging low in the sky.

I have to just give in on this one... unseen powers that affect me have to do with someone or some situation that has the power and is willing to use it to grant me what I wish.  And believing this.. takes busting through that 10 of Swords box, because all of those swords are inscribed with 'I got into this by trusting that I could have what was promised'.

I think this 9 of Cups keeps popping up to tell me to trust - and that's scarier than that image of the box.  Makes sense, I suppose... if I really want that Fool, trust has to come first.

Thing is... in those genii stories, 'be careful what you wish for' is always the message, isn't it?  I continue to not know how to relate to this card.

Events to Come - Future happenings in the inquirer's destiny

5 of CUPS

Yikes what a wretched image - a pair of dark moon figures stand on a balcony near the sea.  The woman, wearing an apron and red headscarf is angrily pointing and waving at the man, who appears to be smaller than she is and fairly well dressed. He wears a purple cap and a look of anxiety and is covering his ears to block out her words.  Three spilled cups (the liquid could be red wine but it looks like blood) are discarded on the ground near his feet, and a pair of upright cups are on the wall next to the couple.  The moon is full and entirely blank faced.

This is regret for choices that have lead to an unbearable situation and quite honestly it looks a lot more like my past and my marriage than anything I'm likely to allow into my world in the future... yes, i've been that nag married to someone tuning me out (I've also been the one being criticised).... regretted being in a situation where I felt I had to nag - and definitely regretted being in a situation where carelessness led to emotional concerns being treated like trash and wasted.  Both of us at fault for that one, yes.

So what's this mean for the future.. because, seriously, I won't ever let myself be in that situation again - it was an enormously painful place to be and too many years wasted on it for the sake of whatever dribbles were left in those upright cups.  But this may be working along with that 10 of Swords... and that in my future, I've got some actual letting go of this frustration and regret to come.  Another step in the two of us breaking the emotional hold we've got on each other  (which, at this point, is almost entirely quietly hostile and negative). That'd be good - some sincere neutrality would be a good thing - otherwise, we've both moved on but that undercurrent still exists. I'd like to get to a point where I can honestly (key word, that) say that I've let go of the betrayal I feel about how it played out (not that it played out - that part was a good thing. we were not good together) and it'd be nice to believe that he isn't justifying those decisions by continuing to talk about how terrible I am to people that don't even know me.

I'll take this as a positive indicator of that possibility... the notion that that day isn't comin is just unbearable... neither of us should be continuing to expend energy on hostility and negativity at this point.

Surrounding Environment - Elements of home, work, community, etc.

WHEEL OF FORTUNE

The figures on this card are pale, full moon in aspect.  A large woman (Lady Luck?) is dressed in a green dress and red coat and headscarf, trimmed in gold.  Her feet are bare.  A small figure with a tail, naked except for a red and gold cap (like a trained monkey's cap) is seated on a stool, hands on face and looking awestruck and scared, watching the woman crank the handle on a large wheel behind the pair.

The wheel itself is metallic and embossed with various images - a broken heart, a palm, a face, a moon, a star... A pair of fish decorate the wheel and a monkey faced imp with wings looks on from overhead, wielding a pair of small wands.

The phrase that comes to mind here is 'Oh no, what now??  And in terms of my environment...family, friends, community... this is most definitely how it's been lately for us all, hasn't it? Hanging on and apprehensively wondering what the next monkey wrench is going to be - feeling as if far too much is dependent on circumstances beyond our personal control.

Lately, Lady Luck has been nobody's friend.

Influence of Others - how those you meet or deal with affect your persona

ACE of CUPS

A dark moon woman with stone wings is seated, facing left. She's wearing a gauzy gown of blue and purple, trimmed in gold and wears a golden armband, a bracelet and ring connected by a golden chain, a golden neck cuff and a gold tiara with a red stone in the middle and twelve spikes (6 white, and 6 black).  Her hair is in tight beaded braids.

She's holding a golden, two-handled chalice decorated with vines - the handles are seahorses.

A full moon looks down with a calm face and is breathing a strong ray of moondust down into her cup.  The woman's face has a soft smile on it - she seems to be contented and happy.

This card tells me that every person I meet or am in contact with is a fresh opportunity for emotional openness - that people are where my potential for emotional growth lies.  This rings very true for me - it is in my relationships (including those who are only in my life for as long as it takes me to pay for something at a checkout counter) that I experience emotional richness.   This reading seems to be very much about my emotional life - and here is a reminder that all of my encounters contain the potential to help me grow into the person I wish to be.

For all that there are things beyond my control and old wounds to address and heal, as long as I remember that people are what matter most, I have within myself the the ability to feel abundance and love.

Spiritual Forces - Effects of spiritual influence over your question
2 of CUPS

A couple stand in the corner of a room which looks out over a city scene where a clock can be seen striking midnight.

The male is a skeleton (Death?), wearing a fancy cream outfit and red cloak and hood covered with a gold scarf.  The woman is dark with long black hair that is covered in glowing lights (stars?).  There is clearly a flirtation happening here - he leans against the wall behind her and she seems to be winking at him.  They hold a pair of gold chalices as if toasting one another. 

A golden ribbon wraps down the male's left leg and is curled around her right foot.  The toenails on her left foot are painted red, while those on her right are painted black.  Some spilled wine (blood) is sprinkled on the ground between their feet.

The same checked floor as on the Empress card is on the floor here.  In the distance, there is a factory blowing smoke from its chimneys.

This is partnership - these two appear to be very different and yet there does seem to be a complementary connection between death and darkness that works.  While this is new and flirtatious, the connection has been made and since this is about spiritual influences, this suggests to me here to seek spirituality in the realm of connections... a confirmation of the Ace's message and also a suggestion to connect to those subconscious and hidden influences this reading has highlighted.  Death's connection to the 10 of Swords - letting things go... and the hidden mystery I have with that 9 of cups pointing to this dark woman's head full of stars seem to be speaking here... they are connected somehow and can come together in a spiritual way for me.

(This reading is speaking on a level that is hard to draw up into the realm of words... if that sounded like babble it makes sense to me but I'm not sure how well I'm expressing it)

Final Outcome - Culmination of Events - result/answer to question

4 of PENTACLES

Here is Death again, this time female, wearing a dark cloak and hood and a frightening face. She wears a clock around her neck showing the time as 9:40 - a waxing moon is in the sky near a large building with a pair of smoking chimneys.  Death is leading away a richly dressed man (gold and purple) wearing a crown.  He has one shoe on and one off, as if he's being hustled away on short notice and he's looking back anxiously at the building he's leaving behind.

In his arms, he's clutching four pentacles... all he was able to take with him before he goes.  Death is leading him into a building or furnace filled with a raging fire, but the man doesn't seem to be even looking at where he's headed because he's so worried about what he's leaving behind.

Begs the question...just what does he think he's going to do with those pentacles he hangs onto so desperately?

This is a rather disturbing culmination card, eh?  The short answer here is 'you can't take it with you' - and even if you could, what's the point?  The reading suggests to me that it's hanging onto those old thoughts of betrayal that keeps me clutching for the status quo... in actuality, things are changing... the Wheel shows how circumstances are changing no matter how still I try to sit.  The Fool in the place of my hopes shows a need to travel very lightly.  The rest remind me over and over that it's in emotions not things... people not circumstances... where my true path lies.

This person, with his one shoe off and hugging coins to himself looks far more foolish than the Fool does.

---

I'm rather awestruck at the richness of this reading and this deck - I wasn't sure if I could read with it at all, but I can.  It's going to take a lot of practice to capably put these images into words... they truly do access the subconscious, below the level of language.

I've been mulling on this reading for a long time, and it continues to bear fruit.  And I think I may have a new favorite deck.

New Moon in Aries Reading

This entry will be growing as I work on it.

Tonight is this year's Aries New Moon... a time to look at self-identity and to initiate growing independence throughout the year.

I've a spread that's been stored in my copy of Orphalese that  I've been wanting to try for awhile - unfortunately, it's listed as only having come from 'shari' so i can't properly credit it.  However, the notes included mention that this is inspired by Gail Woods' "Rituals of the Dark Moon: 13 Lunar Rites for a Magical Path" which highlights a different aspect for each phase of the Moon (making a distinction between the Dark Moon and the New Moon).  I think it makes for an elegant and rich spread for inner exploration.  Because of how in-depth this reading is, I want to take my time here, so this entry will build slowly while I work through it.

Here is the spread and the cards I've drawn, asking "What do I need to know in order to begin a path toward a balanced state of independence?".  I'll be leaving these cards up this next month where I can look at it and switching decks after today:

x x x 1 x x x
x 8 x x x 2 x
7 x x 9 x x 3
x 6 x x x 4 x
x x x 5 x x x

1. New Moon - Maiden - Emerge
What is emerging right now in your life. You may just be feeling this, it has not yet actually come fully into your conscience.

Ace of Swords

The Ace of Swords speaks of potential mental energy or opportunities - with this in the 'emerging' position it makes me think that this next month will be one when I will be able to start conceiving of an educational path for myself.  And in fact, I've got a couple of education-related things to check on (regarding possibilities that, until last weekend I was positive where a dead issue - they've just resurrected as a possibility), just to get a handle on where I am now.  I am hopeful this Ace is pointing toward a positive outlook for getting started there, but that sheath is also reminding me to be cautious - don't invest too heavily mentally or emotionally until I've got that preliminary research taken care of.

2. Waxing Crescent Moon - Amazon - Champion
What you feel passionate about. This is something you are willing to fight for, or something you are fighting (for).

Queen of Wands

Here, I'm looking at aspects of identity - I'm passionate about who I am...passionate about being passionate about what it is I'm passionate about. (hah.. had to get that loop-de-loop bunch of words out of my head there...)

Honestly, I've not been experiencing much fire in my life lately - this winter really took a toll on my physically and my energy and enthusiasm has been very low - physically and sexually, I've almost been in hibernation.  "Good" has been defined as calm and stationary... after the chaos of last year (moving, divorcing, financial changes for the worse, and health problems all slamming into me at the same time), fire has gotten tied into painful trauma for me. 

I see... I need to be willing to fight for some renewed energy and joy for myself... I need to reconnect to sexual desire without being afraid of whether or not I'll get burned.  I need to have dreams and goals I'm willing to work for without procrastinating because I'm afraid it won't work out.  I need to fight, simply put, for my life.

This idea shouldn't scare me, but as I type this I am feeling nervous and almost teary.  But this Queen is in me... she can help me here.  I have to just let her out.

 

3. 1st Quarter Moon - Lover - Integrate

This is something that you are trying to integrate into you life. It may feel like it doesn't belong, but it will fit if you choose to work at it. It will require a choice and desire.

XVI: The Tower

Heh.  Got to love it when a reading has a sense of humor.  All that I described above... that was my Tower year.  Everything that I built up around me fell apart.  And what I've been doing since is trying to recover from it, mostly by crawling away and making myself and my life very small in order to manage a life out of the rubble.

And I have to not get past all that, but to integrate it? To love it?  This one is going to take a lot more thought to process because yes, it totally feels like it doesn't belong - I am getting better about not thinking 'this shouldn't have happened this way' but I do still think that.  But it did happen, and my life now isn't a false life based on a wrong series of events that never should have happened... this is what is.  Who I am for the rest of my life is rooted in large part on all of that... so I suppose I might as well embrace it and look for what positive meaning it all has for me.

What, in general, can I embrace about the Tower?  It is the destroyer of illusion and false confidence.  The lightning doesn't just zap the tower from without... in this image it looks like the light inside is bursting out.  There are things within me that could never show themselves if the Tower hadn't been burst open.  I can embrace the catalyst for that emergence.

Definitely, bears some more contemplation on this.

 

4. Gibbous Moon - Priestess - Initiate
This is where you are spiritually. It is what you are learning about yourself that is spiritually connected to your current path. 

 XIX: The Sun

I don't often get the Sun card in readings for myself - this is a bit of a surprise! And this particular one is very appealing... the sun, the solar system around it, and the wheel of the Zodiac. 

My relationship with spirituality... my beliefs... tend toward a very freeform pagan humanism.  I believe we're a part of the universe, and connected by it.  I acknowledge cycles of time... the turning of the seasons.. because they root us and show growth and movement of each of us as individuals and collectively.  I get much more spiritually out of watching a sunrise or looking through a telescope than I ever would communing together in any overt spiritual setting, and I don't worry about 'belief' as the marker for how I'm doing.  Things are either in alignment with me or they aren't.  That is not at all well articulated but I'll remember what I meant when I read that back later.

So this sun card ... that's what it calls to me.  Everything is in its place, and it all works together - each planet, each star, each house on the wheel is separate and individual... they've got their own paths, their own quirks... but they're held together by a greater whole.  They each turn on their axis, and around the sun... and the sun itself is wheeling around the galaxy, which is wheeling around the universe.  We're each turning in multiple ways, alone and together, every second of our life.  Spirituality, for me, is in becoming aware of the connections.  Respecting the individuality and uniqueness of everyone and everything, while not mistaking it for solitariness.  We're all in this together.

Generally, the Sun is about clarity... about the grand light of truth and joy in the reality of it all.  Yes.  That's the summation of what aligns me spiritually - the cosmic YES to all that is.

5. Full Moon - Mother - Nurture
This is what you nurture in yourself as well as others. This is a part of who you are and you feel most complete when you allow yourself to express this.

9 of Cups

And here he is again - the happy bartender who has prepared all that he wishes to surround himself with and is prepared and eager to share it.  Nurturing myself means letting myself acknowledge my own wishes, making them happen, and sharing the bounty with those around me.  This is how I can best care for myself and others.

I love the sense of this - that looking after my own dreams isn't taking from those in my life - it's the first step to being able to nurture and care for others.  Before you can have something to give, you first have to gather it together for yourself.

So the short message here - focus on manifesting what makes me happy... take care of myself.  In doing so, I'll be better able to take care of those I love.  I've seen the truth in that time and again... good reminder here.

6. Disseminating Moon - Teacher - Share
This is what you know, and may choose to share with others. It is something you have a gift for, and have knowledge to share.

VIII: Strength

And here is another reminder of something I know but haven't felt... all that I've been through has made me strong and much more compassionate for the weaknesses and wildnessness of others.  I can honestly say that I think I've a better person for having been knocked out of that Tower...still healing, but I have discovered reserves of adaptibility and courage I didn't know I had.

I love the way this card shows the lion and the woman walking together, side by side.  Neither is attempting to control or lead the other - they move together.  For me, the lion often represents both the best parts of us and the parts that are so untamed that we feel we need to hide it, cage it, control it.  One of the best things that happened to me as a result of my divorce is that who I am inside - my inner lion - can show itself openly in my house without having to have a conversation defending it to someone who was by turns contemptuous and afraid of that aspect of me.  I don't wake up everyday wondering how my core self will get beat down today, or how I may need to hide it - do the beating down myself pre-emptively.  And the strange and wonderful part?  Let out openly, I am much more gentle than when I was trying to control it rather than walk with it.  The lion needs freedom in order for the woman to not have to have to operate in a controlling way.

So this is something I can share?  That's an interesting though - that having learned this, I can possibly help others to not be afraid to let their inner lion out as well.

My goodness... this sunny lion, the sun, the Queen of Wands... there are all sorts of fiery and light-filled messages in this reading, aren't there?

7. Last Quarter Moon - Elder - Seek
This is what you are seeking. It is something you have wanted to learn about/or do for a while. It is important for you to follow this desire.

5 of Wands

What an interesting card as something I'm seeking!  Strife? no...  Competition? no... if anything, I try harder than I should to avoid being in competitive situations.  Joy in the battle - maybe that.  Yes... I think so.  Seeking pleasure in overcoming my challenges, facing them with a big fierce grin on my face.  And why not? They're there whether I cower or engage in the battle... might as well have fun while I'm doing it.

The other thing this card so often means for me, and I think this also applies here, is the notion of jockeying for position...finding one's place in the scheme of things.  And that rings very true... I've lost my sense of place - of where I fit in with the world.  Yes.  I need to look for that place and be willing to engage in the battle to step into it, not just wait for it to happen.  I am seeking a sense of purpose that is only mine to fill, and courage (and joy!) in occupying that turf.

I think this is telling me to look at getting back into the world in a meaningful way - I've been sidelining myself for long enough.

8. Balsamic Moon - Crone - Release
It is time to release what this is showing. This will show something you may feel you need, however it is no longer necessary or useful in your life. The time has come to let it go.

0: The Fool

Release the Fool?? Nooo!

Hmm... ok, what is the Fool?  Potential... the 'soul' before it's stepped into the stream of life... 'in the world but not of it'...  The Fool is playful innocence, can be gullible and overly trusting, ignoring pitfalls and dangers and doesn't think about where she's going... just moseying along through life, taking what comes.  The Fool can also be a trickster, playing practical jokes or being funny to just to enjoy reactions... the Fool can also be the butt of a joke, clowning by taking pratfalls and not worrying what others think.

Hmm... taking pratfalls. ouch.  I think that's it.  I have been poised... lots of potential, but no manifestation... hovering on the edge of that cliff, absolutely sure that life is ready to hand me yet another banana peel to slip on, another football to yank out from under me just as I go for it.  As long as I stay poised, the fall doesn't happen.  Nothing else  happens either.  I think maybe I need to release that  inner certainty that some unseen Prankster is going to turn anything I reach out for to dust and laugh at me for trying. (wow, didn't know I did think that, but boy did that ring true).

It's not that I need to release the Fool's faith or willingness to just Be - I need to release the sense of myself as the world's clown, and start expecting that if I apply my own conscious will to things, I can direct the outcome.  Not just wait for the next Kick Me sign to be planted on my back.

9. Dark Moon - Weaver - Truth
This is the truth of where you are right now, it is your Truth. It may be hidden from you, or you may keep it hidden from others. Through acknowledging this and bringing it into your life you clear the way to further development.

Page of Cups

And so here at the end of the reading, we come back to a court card - an aspect of who I am.  I had a houseguest today so delayed in writing this, and throughout the day it was on my mind, mulling.

The truth of where I am right now is that I am just beginning to trust that I can reconnect with others and allow myself to be vulnerable and open to them.  And this is indeed the truth - on the outside, I'm the Queen of Swords and trying to latch into the Queen of Wands.. on the outside I'm 'strong' and tough and mature (a word applied to me that I often think is well overstated.

Inside? I'm a child who has been through a lot that hurt me more than I dare admit - and I keep a good hard shell around me to try to make sure it won't ever happen again.  Inside? Blue jello with gummy fish. There have been times when this child within me shames me...so sensitive, so needy for a hug... but I'm moving past that.  This page is also what lets me care about others - to be very specific, the Page of Cups is who I access when I read Tarot for others and for myself - it's where the imagination and playfulness I use to understand them comes from and it's where the compassion I feel for those seeking guidance is born. 

I know there's more to this than what it means in my relationship to the cards, but that's what's striking me tonight... as I read for others and draw out their own tender, sensitive Page of Cups - create a safe place for that vulnerable person to dare show itself, i'm learning to do it for myself as well.  Learning that I can ask for love and trust it to be given. Learning that I can dream and not be scolded or told to grow up and put away my dreams.

It's a huge lesson...huge.  In so many ways, I'm starting over again, emotionally and I feel as if I'm a big sister walking beside my younger inner self and telling her it's ok.  It's ok to love and to be loved... it's ok to have imaginary friends and want to be happy.  So simple, but I didn't know this for a long, long time.

 

0: The Fool - Living Foolishly

Actions to take inspired by this card:

- Deliberately do something today differently than how you normally do it.  Notice how it feels - uncomfortable? Liberating?  Embarrassing?

- Do something today that you've been interested in but haven't yet made the leap because you're afraid you can't do it.  Just jump, already!

- Go for a walk around your neighborhood and take notice of details you've never paid attention to before.

- Write with your non-dominant hand. 

- Change a recipe for something you make often - try a new ingredient or a different method of preparation.

- Make a fruit fool for dessert.

- Watch a funny movie or TV show.

- Play with a toy you loved as a child.

- Take a trip to a part of town you've never visited before - what's in your local area that you didn't know about?

- Buy some craft supplies and spend time using them without worrying about 'making' something.

- Bring a bouquet of white roses into your home.

- Spend time with your dog today or, if you don't have one, go visit a shelter.  If you can't keep a pet, can you help care for these?

- Find a child and spend some time together playing - get down on the floor with them and experience life from their point of view.

- Play "Fluxx" a card game where the rules change constantly according to the actions of the players.  This is a great game for groups of people who aren't taking things too seriously because the constant changes keep it challenging, but it's lighthearted enough not to interrupt the socializing.

- Have a child's party for you and your adult friends.  Bring favorite toys, have children's food - pizza decorated to look like a happy face, ice cream sundaes with all the toppings...  Play games like pin the tail on the donkey and provide hula hoops, Twister and jump ropes.  Maybe dress up in your pajamas and play Truth or Dare or give each other manicures. Put "The Wizard of Oz" on play "Dark Side of the Moon" to see if they really are synchronized.  The key thing here is to play together and not worry about how silly you all look.

- create an altar to your Inner Fool - find small icons that remind you of your childhood, of a new beginning you're about to make (or want to make), of places you've been or places you'd like to be.  Include something that reminds you of something you might be embarrassed if others knew it mattered to you (that first edition Star Trek ornament? put it in there!) and something that makes you laugh.  Set it off with a white rose for innocence and pleasure.   Lay the Fool card in the middle of it and spend time meditating on the qualities of the Fool you'd like to draw into your life.

Got more?  Share your foolish ideas in comments!

0: The Fool - Foolish Prompts

Journaling prompts for future reflection on this card:

- Write about your earliest memory - how does it reflect a journey you're on now?

- List ten things you've begun that you don't know how they'll end.

- Write a letter to yourself as you'll be ten years from now.  What questions do you have for your future self about the things that are unknown to you now? 

- Write a letter to yourself now from the person you'll be ten years from now, explaining what signposts along the way you'll want to watch out for.

- Write the story of your life up to now as if it were a travelogue.  Point out the interesting landmarks, the events worth exploring, the pitfalls to avoid.  if you want, draw a map of the landscape of your life.

- Write about a time when you behaved foolishly - what did you do? How did it make you feel? What did others think about your actions?

- Write about your level of trust in the universe.  Do things tend to work out for you in spite of yourself?  Do crazy things happen to you that you can't foresee?

- Write about someone you know that is crazy (or eccentric, if you like).  What characteristics do they have that lead to that impression?  Give an anecdotal example or two.  Do you admire them? Pity them? Get annoyed by them?

- How do you handle the unknown in your life?  Can you go with the flow, or do you need to find ways to be in control of the situation?

- Write about a time you took an impulsive risk - what happened? Would you do it again, knowing what you know now?  What would you have done differently?

- Write about how you visualized being a grown up when you were a kid.  How does it differ from the grown up you are now?  Were you mistaken, or are there aspects of your childhood vision that you could be pursuing now?

- Examine a white rose closely, experiencing it through as many of your senses as you can.  Write about what you see, feel, smell, taste - even hear.  What memories or other thoughts and feelings does it invoke for you?

- Write about your relationship to a pet - does your animal friend spur you onward into playfulness, warn you away from danger, nip at your heels to nag you, follow you as a loyal companion?  What part do animals play in your personal journey?

- What cliffs are in your life right now?

- If you could be anywhere you wanted to be right now, where would you be?

- Write about a time when you were on the brink of something - how did it feel?  Were you exhilerated by the height and the possibilities, or worried and afraid of falling?  What happened?

- Write about warnings you missed - if only you'd been paying  attention, you'd have known better.  How would the outcome have changed?  Should the outcome have been changed, or did you need to learn by taking the scenic route, stumbles and all?

- Write about what absolute necessities you would want to have with you on a long journey, if you didn't know whether or not you'd find anything along the way.  Remember that what you take will weigh you down, so choose wisely - can items be used for more than one thing or used in ways they weren't originally intended?  Are you only taking into account practical needs, or are you bringing along things that others might regard as frivolous?

- Become the Fool on this card - what are you thinking about? What do you see? What are you feeling? Where have you come from and where are you going?

- Become the white dog on this card - why are you there?  What are you thinking and feeling?  What would you like to be able to tell the Fool?

- Draw a second card at random and consider it along side the Fool - what story does the pair have to tell? Freewrite your impressions of the combination.

- Write a poem about the Fool.  Try a limerick to keep in tune with the funloving nature of this card.

from The Da Vinci Enigma:
What is calling you to follow this new departure?
How does instinct empower you?

from Tarot For Your Self:
In what areas of your life are you operating entirely on faith and trust?
Where are you going?
What are you feeling foolish about?
What would be fun to do if you could do anything you wanted?

Do you have any other Foolish prompt ideas?  I'd love to hear your thoughts in comments.

0: The Fool - Foolish Quotations

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
~ Sholom Aleichem

You can have everything you want as long as you don't want it badly enough.
~ Yogi Berra

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
~ Josh Billings

The fool who persists in his folly will become wise.
~ William Blake

All the wonders you seek are within yourself.
- Sir Thomas Browne

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
~ Samuel Butler

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.
~ Charlie Chaplin

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
wich is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
~ e.e. cummings

Only a fool expects to be happy all the time.
~ Robertson Davies

The fool wonders, the wise man asks.
~ Benjamin Disraeli

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
~ T.S. Eliot

What lies beyond us and what lies before us are tiny matters when compared to what lies within us.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Draw your chair up close to the edge of the precipice and I'll tell you a story.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

The fool wanders, a wise man travels.
~  Thomas Fuller

It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak.
~ Neil Gaiman

Whatever you can do or dream, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
~ Goethe

The greatest obstacle to being heroic is the doubt whether one may not be going to prove one's self a fool; the truest heroism is to resist the doubt; and the profoundest wisdom, to know when it ought to be resisted, and when it be obeyed.
~  Nathaniel Hawthorne

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
~ Cynthia Heimel

He dares to be a fool, and that is the first step in the direction of wisdom.
~ James Gibbons Huneker

If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.
~  Angelina Jolie

If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool.
~ Carl G. Jung

To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily.  To not dare is to lose oneself. 
~ Soren Kiekegaard

A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat.
~ Louis L'Amour

My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
~ Ursula K. Le Guin

Trust no future, howe'er pleasant
Let the dead past bury its dead!
Act, -- act in the living present!
Heart within and god o'erhead.
~ H.W. Longfellow

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
~ Alexander Pope

There is only one journey.  Going inside yourself.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Afoot and lighthearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me.
~ Walt Whitman

0: The Fool - Aspects

Ok, this was fun.  I brainstormed a bunch of aspects - questions or specific areas where the Fool might land in a spread, and then answered each one as if I'd drawn the Fool there.  Mind, these are still just general comments and only what I came up with for the moment - in a real spread they'd be modified according to the surrounding cards, the overall tone of the spread and my own attitude that day.

But as an exercise? Fun!

What message might The Fool hold in the area of...

Situations and Problems -

Situation - How does this card reflect my current problem or situation?

The Fool indicates that the current situation requires a leap of faith - an entirely new and unexpected path has opened up, and you don't know where it's leading.  This situation is going to require you to trust your instincts and be willing to appear foolish.

Challenge - How does this card reflect a potential challenge to the situation?

The challenge here is to be able to proceed without being able to see the path ahead, which can be scary if you're used to being in control of the situation.  You may need to act regardless of the opinions of others and regard the journey as meaningful as the destination - remember that every step is a learning experience for those willing to pay attention.  Do make sure that you're not being naïve about the risks involved.

Solution - How does this card reflect a potential solution to the situation?

Try an unorthodox approach that feels right instead of overanalyzing the problem.  Trust your instincts and try something off the beaten path.  Stop being so serious and do something silly - it might provide inspiration that serious analysis has failed to provide.

Attitude - How does this card speak to my attitude or response to the situation?

Your attitude right now is that of a person following the beat of their own drum.  You not only aren't listening to what anyone else thinks of the situation, you don't even hear them.  You're enjoying the open road ahead and are willing to experience whatever comes.  You're approaching the unknown with a playful attitude and don't have any serious concerns about the outcome - you're just enjoying the scenery along the way.

Time -

The Past - where have I been?

In the past, you've been inclined to be a wanderer through life, letting whatever happens happen without trying to set a course or determine any particular destination.  You may have made some 'foolish' choices that didn't make much sense to anyone else, but things always seem to work out one way or another.

The Present - where am I now?
You're on the brink of a brand new era of your life, with little idea of where you're heading.  There isn't much from your life so far that will help you in this new direction - you're going to have to start over with little but your own instincts.  Watch out for pitfalls that come from not paying attention to what you're doing, but trust in yourself and the world around you and know that if you listen to your heart, you'll be fine.

The Near Future - what is the next step I might take?

Try something different from what you'd normally be inclined to do.  Take risks and step beyond your comfort zone - go ahead and talk to the stranger that interests you instead of holding back, apply for the job that intrigues you that you're not sure you can do.  Trust yourself and remember that your dreams should 'exceed your grasp' - reach out for them if you want them to come true, and don't forget to have fun along the way.

The Long-term Future - what's ahead?

Your future is wide open to you - what happens will depend entirely on your own willingness to take risks and be yourself rather than what everyone else thinks you ought to be.  If you trust your own instincts, you will likely be seen as someone a little 'crazy' but you'll be happier than if you play it safe.  All doors are open to you - you just have to be willing to take that first step.

Self -

Body - what is this telling me about my body or my health?

If what you're doing now isn't working for you, try something you haven't considered before.  Standard knowledge doesn't always have all the answers - consider more holistic methods of keeping well.  Experiment safely, but be mindful of quacks and resist the inclination to put all the power over your own health into the hands of others.  Bring more humor into your life - laughter really is the best medicine.

Mind - what is this telling me about my thoughts and opinions?

You tend to have unorthodox opinions, at least according to those around you - they may even regard your ideas as naïve or overly-idealistic.  You sometimes have flashes of insight that appear as if out of nowhere - you can't explain how you came to your conclusions, but you instinctively understand things even without the knowledge or experience to 'show your work.'  You base your ideas on what feels right to you rather than sticking to what the so-called experts have to say.  You tend to find humor in situations and ideas that others take seriously.

Spirit - what is this telling me about my relationship to spirituality and beliefs?

Your base your spirituality on what feels right and approach it from an an exploratory basis, rather than being driven by any particular goal or outcome.  You may be prone to alternative forms of spirituality and prefer to keep an open mind rather than confining you to any rigid set of dogma or ritual.  Your spiritual beliefs are rooted in trust that the universe is essentially good and that you will be protected from deep harm as long as you act with purity and follow your heart.  You may be lacking in much deep knowledge of the details of your chosen spiritual path, believing and doing things 'just because' and you may have a tendency to take spiritual guidance from others without practicing discernment about their knowledge or character - can you say gullible?  You may have very eclectic spiritual ideas that you've gathered from a number of spiritual philosophies without having committed deeply to any of them.

Heart - what is this telling me about my emotional concerns?

Emotionally, you may be so wrapped up in your own issues that you are blind to the concerns of others.  Your emotions tend to be unstable and based almost entirely on what's happening to you right this moment and they may express themselves in ways that make little sense to those around you.  You have a trusting, possibly overly-trusting nature, and unhappy experiences might hit you hard because you haven't developed much in the way of experience to help you avoid unhappy situations - even if you've gone through this before, it hits you as if for the first time each time it happens. In the same way, positive experiences fill you with a sense of wonder, as if it is happening for the first time.  Your emotional responses swing widely from high to low and back again, depending on what you're currently experiencing.

Hopes - how does this card speak to my hopes?

You are hoping that an unknown path ahead of you will prove to an opportunity to soar.  You hope that your instincts will prove to be beneficial to you.  You hope most of all that whatever you choose to explore will be open and available to you and that you won't be forced to settled down and commit to a particular course of action.

Fears - how does this card speak to my fears?

You fear that you are about to make a foolish decision or that others will regard your actions as silly and naïve.  You're afraid of 'making a fool of yourself' which may make you overly sensitive to the opinions of others (mistakenly regarding negative opinions as decrees to do things their way and forgetting that you're in charge of your own choices) and too worried about losing your dignity.  You are afraid that others are laughing at you or that you're missing a part of the picture that will keep you from taking an undignified spill.

Significator - how does this card define who I am?

You are a unique and original thinker who tends to be offbeat, optimistic and willing to act without knowing exactly where you're going or how you'll get there.  You may tend to be flighty and flaky and a drifter through life, starting one project after another and then stopping after you lose interest - for you, the important part is the journey and the process, not the completed outcome.  You are highly instinctive in your actions but may sometimes appear thoughtless and naïve.  Sometimes, your trusting nature takes a fall, but you regard those situations as flukes and continue to trust that everything will work out as it should.

Areas of Daily Life -

Work/Career - what is this telling me about my working life?

Your job either tends to be one regarded as odd, or is one that your pursue in an unusual way.  It might involve travel to exotic places or require you to react on your feet without having the time or ability to learn much about the situation in advance.  You may experiment with new ways of doing your tasks that keep them fresh and fun and your coworkers may mistake this playfulness with goofing around until they notice that your methods do seem to get you where you want to go.  You might be the person at work that plays practical jokes on others, or turn normal days into a party - you keep the comic strips on your wall and the silly ornaments on your desk and you always have a funny comment to make in the middle of a serious discussion that breaks the tension - just be careful about not turning into a clown or won't be taken seriously when you need to be.

If you're looking for work, explore careers that you may not have thought of doing before, or brainstorm ways to create a job for yourself that doesn't exist.  You will likely be happiest with a job that doesn't have a regular routine, so that every day is new and different from the one below.  If travel is involved, you will enjoy the opportunity to explore new places and will thrive in a position where your instincts are more important than experience or knowledge.

Finances - what is this telling me about my financial concerns?

The Fool is all about speculation and taking risks - you may be prone to gambling more than you can afford to lose, and you're not very good at sitting down and planning or documenting your expenditures. 

Try setting a budget so you don't find yourself overdrawn unexpectedly, but make sure to block in some money to play with or you'll feel overly constrained and give up following your budget.  Be open and alert to creative ways to manage your finances - you may see an opportunity that others find too risky or foolish to pursue, but if your instincts are telling you to go ahead, give it a try.

Don't take the pursuit of money too seriously - as long as you have enough to cover your basic needs, you would do better to spend your energy on pursuits that are fun and enjoyable - stop to smell the roses rather than just acquiring as many of them as you can.

Romance - what is this telling me about my romantic relationships and attitudes?

Romantically, you or your partner may not be inclined to make a long-term commitment, favoring instead a one-day-at-a-time approach.  The long term outlook for the partnership is unknown and depends on the choices you make along the way.  While serious conversations about your future and settling down make you itchy, you have a lot of fun together, sharing a childlike pleasure in games, humor and playing harmless tricks on one another - it may drive your partner nuts that they can't pin you down, but you do keep each other laughing.  Once the fun is gone, though, you're likely to be on your way.

The fool also indicates some tendency to be naïve and impulsive in your relationship choices - you may become involved with someone who takes advantage of your innocence and trust, and friends may be concerned that you're playing the fool about the nature of your relationship.  You see your partner in ways that others don't see, but be careful that you're not ignoring vital aspects of their character that could be hazardous to you.

The relationship itself may be very unusual by conventional standards and incorporate playful, role playing elements that others regard as strange.  Playful kink, polyamorous groupings, friends with bed privileges all are influenced by the quirky fool's tendency to approach romance in unexpected ways.

Other relationships - what is this telling me about my non-romantic relationships?

You're the friend who is never on time, doesn't take things seriously and always seems to be on the verge of a great disaster that somehow never happens - "Heaven protects children and fools" and your friends worry about you more than they should, because things always seem to work out for you in the end.  You enjoy your friends and relate to them primarily by good times and shared recreation, but you may not be the best person to go to when someone needs to have a serious heart-to-heart discussion or to get practical assistance.  But that's ok - others can help do the mundane things and you'll be there to cheer everyone up.

As a parent, you're sometimes more like a pal or a child than someone in authority.  Lorelei Gilmore is a Foolish parent, often encouraging her child to be more playful or to play pranks, and yet she still instills a sense of 'you can do anything' vision into her daughter.  This parent doesn't follow the experts' advice and sometimes other parents (or even their children) will judge them as bad parents, but their children develop strong creative resources and the knowledge that they are protected and loved as they go out into the world on their own journey.

As a child, this is the kid that's always laughing and exploring - the mischevious kid that doesn't seem to understand why anyone would ever get mad about something they meant in good fun.  This is the toddler that is balanced on the back of the couch on tiptoe - the one you're sure is going to break every bone in his body except he rarely seems to actually hurt himself.  Even when he does, he takes the bumps and bruises lightly and impatiently waits for you to patch him up so he can get back to his explorations.  This kid will keep you jumping, but he'll also keep you laughing.  Try to stop worrying so much - you'll only wear yourself out and you won't stop him from taking risks anyway.  It's how he learns.

Home - what is this telling me about my home and personal space?

The fool's personal space should be colorful and pleasant to look at, with decorations that reflect humor and unique whimsy.  It should appeal to the senses and to the occupant's inner child.  Consider a collection of vintage children's toys or mementos from from your travels.

In terms of maintenance, the Fool may not be great at the boring details of keeping things neat - the Fool tends to be distracted from seeing what's beneath their feet or surrounding them and lives too much in the moment to plan ahead or see the effects of what they do on their surroundings.  That said, the Fool enjoys sensory pleasures and is happier when their surroundings are pleasing to the senses.  A Foolish person may buy things on impulse without thinking about how they will fit into their space or whether or not they will need to be maintained, and once they have what they momentarily wanted, they may lose interest.  It would be a good idea for the Fool to get someone to help keep them focused on these details (or, if they're lucky, do it for them) - it's fun to be a Fool, but not always wise and it can be crazymaking for the people sharing their space.

Fun - how does this card reflect the lighter side of my life?

The Fool is all about fun!  The Fool finds fun everywhere and is motivated by it.  The Fool plays lighthearted pranks on other people without any intention of hurting them or causing harm (but may sometimes accidentally do so simply because they tend not to see the negative consequences of their actions).  The Fool is very hooked into her childlike qualities and still enjoys the recreational activities she favored as a child - playing make believe, coloring, building with Legos.  Hook the Fool up with an actual child, and she'll have as much fun playing pretend as the child does.

The Fool would enjoy adult activities that include childlike forms of expression - karaoke, performing in a community theatre, any sort of artistic activity, travel - especially to exotic or fun places like Disneyland or Las Vegas.  Actually, watch out for Las Vegas - the opportunities to gamble more than the Fool can afford might be hard to resist.  On the other hand, 'fortune favors the fool.'

Creativity - how does this card reflect my creative life?

The Fool is highly creative because he sees things from a unique point of view and doesn't rule out ideas that others might reject as too crazy to try.  A good part of creativity is being willing to fail, often, on the way to creating something worth keeping and the fool not only isn't afraid of failure - he forgets that it's even a possibility. 

The Fool might express creativity in any way at all - no path is closed to him.  Whether it's artwork, fashion sense, a new way of doing business, or the development of a philosophy or lifestyle, the one thing you can be sure of is that the Fool will do it in an unorthodox and creative way and people will marvel at how they can pull off something that no one else could manage without looking ridiculous.

Overall Outcome -

The Fool indicates that the outcome is wide open - no potential path is block, nor has any yet been settled on.  There are likely many aspects of the situation that remain unknown, and it is going to be necessary to move forward before you have all those details.  Be trusting but not naive as you proceed and the shape of the outcome is in your hands.  What do you want it to be? That's what's possible.

(I'd be interested in any comments or suggestions on these.)

0: The Fool - Meanings (in my own words)

After spending some time looking over the Fool cards and what others have to say about them, this is what I've come up with as a general set of meanings for this card.  It's not comprehensive, and I know I'm missing some possible connotations (I'm thinking that if I'm still up for this by the time I've gone through the whole deck, the next step will be to go back and refine my notes.  But I'm not going to try to think that far ahead right now - the Fool wouldn't approve.)

General Positive Connotations:
The Fool indicates a life-altering journey that is about to be made, either physically or an internal journey of the soul.  When the Fool appears, what will happen next is anyone's guess and is dependent on the choices the Fool makes along the way. The Fool's personality is eccentric and idealistic - a person who sees things from a unique, quirky perspective and inclined to act on impulse trusting that everything will work itself out.  Others often see the Fool as 'weird,' stupid or silly but the Fool is not behaving thoughtlessly - rather he or she is accessing their intuitive intelligence rather than using a more analytical approach.

The Fool also has to do with that aspect of ourselves referred to as our "Inner Child" - the part of us that takes pleasure in things without expectations or worrying about what would 'should' be doing or how we 'should' be responding.  The Fool sees the world through new eyes, experiencing wonder the way a child does and because the child doesn't approach experiences with a long list of how things ought to be or what the rules are for dealing with them, she often comes up with creative and playful responses that someone tackling them from a more grown-up attitude would never even consider.

The Fool reminds me of a baby bird about to take that first leap out of the nest - the bird has no experience to tell him that he'll fly rather than crash to the ground - all he's got is instinct, a sort of wordless sense that goes deeper than learned knowledge that he is meant to fly and trust that he can do what he is meant to do. 

General Negative Connotations:
The Fool may be ignoring dangers and starting risky projects without due consideration of the pitfalls.  The Fool may be accepting too much on faith or operating from a naïve assumption about his or her own limitations and the trustworthiness of others.  The Fool may be avoiding commitments and drifting through life without a purpose.  The Fool may be a dreamer who starts projects but fails to see them through.

Is it courage to walk over a cliff if you aren't even paying attention to the ground beneath your feet? Or is it just foolhardiness?

The negative side of the fool is the person who always dreams of pie in the sky and doesn't so much act from listening to their instincts as ignoring common sense - it's fine to have dreams and even to take the leap to make them happen... but ignoring the ground below (staying grounded) is just asking for a fall.

I think of so many people I know (and have sometimes been) who crashes repeatedly and never figures out why the same actions always have the same results - playing the fool and starting out from instinct is a stage we all have to go through, but you can't stay there forever.  Eventually, you have to learn from your actions or be destined to keep crash-landing without knowing why.

At least one well known definition of a 'fool' is someone who keeps trying the same thing over and over again and, when it doesn't work, tries it again harder.  If things aren't working out the way you want them to, it would be a good idea to get off the path you're on and try something different.

Finally, the Fool is the Trickster - the aspect of spirit that feels compelled to stir things up and playfully screw around with people and situations that are clinging too hard to their dignity or behaving too seriously.  If it starts to feel like there are gremlins on your shoulder making ridiculous things happen, check your attitude.  If you can't laugh at yourself, the Fool might just keep finding playful opportunities for you to do so until you let go of your pride.  Don't take the little mix-ups in your life so hard - if you can laugh about it, it won't hurt so much.

0: The Fool - Meaning (a selection of interpretations)

MEANINGS - What do others say?

What follows below is a collection of brief excerpts from the books in my own library about The Fool.  This is in no way comprehensive, either of all the available writings out there (I highly recommend Joan Bunning's Learning the Tarot website for a collection of easily understandable keywords for each card), or of what each author in the books below have to say. 

Osho Zen Tarot (OZT), St. Martin's Press
"Moment to moment, and with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind... at this moment, the Fool has the support of the universe to make this jump into the unknown... Your actions may appear 'foolish' to others, or even yourself, if you try to analyze them with the rational mind..but.. trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience."

The Mythic Tarot (TMT), Juliet Sharman-Burke & Liz Greene
"...the mysterious impulse within us to leap into the unknown... this intuitive, irrational dimension to the human personality is a kind of sixth sense, an animal instinct which hears a music to which jaded ears, used to concrete reality, are not attuned... we cannot know whether we will enter the Fool's perception of the divine or end up merely looking foolish.  In this way, amidst ambiguity and excitement and fear, begins the great journey of life portrayed by the Major Arcana of the Tarot."

Mythic Tarot Workbook (MTW), Juliet Sharman-Burke
"...we seek to find spiritual understanding and purpose while still partaking of earthly life, pain, and pleasure."

Revelations Tarot Companion (RTC), Zach Wong
"He is a free spirit without worry and full of optimism while embarking on a new journey.  He sees the world with fresh new eyes.  His views are unconventional...symbolizes the free spirit within one's self."

Da Vinci Enigma Tarot (DVET), Caitlin Matthews
"Instinct is the first guide to life. Listen to your gut... Public opinion is not necessarily a good indication of how you should proceed... A naïve and childlike delight leads you into new projects... A yearning for freedom and new vistas... follow your vision despite lack of resources... risk being seen as a fool."

Lover's Path Tarot (LPT), Kris Waldherr
(called "Innocence" in this deck) "The start of a great journey... Innocence that allows one to be open to possibilities and protects from difficulties... Feeling protected by divine forces."

The Celtic Tarot (CT), Helena Paterson
"...can be linked to the 'Great Fool' - Dalua - of the Celts.  A fundamental belief in many ancient civilizations is the association of madness or fools with great wisdom... unblemished by sin and surrounded by the light of the soul... represents an intention or ambition in the early stages: shall I?... might be quite literally on the brink of making a disasterous move... The Fool is an undetermined force subject to the intentions and ideals of the querant."

A Guide to the Celtic Dragon Tarot (GCD), D.J.Conway & Lisa Hunt
"New and startling opportunities arrive that are completely out of the usual way you live your life... sudden decisions that are unexpected by those close to you... a new cycle or an unplanned change of directions is at hand."

The Lover's Tarot (TLT), Jane Lyle
"With shining optimism, he sets out on the spiritual journey represented by the Major Arcana... Your sense of fun and spontaneity is bubbling up and over into your life... loosening the bonds of convention, you are ready to welcome the unknown and untried into your life... honour the child in you who cannot always take things seriously."

Tarot Journaling (TJ), Corrine Kenner
(using Waite's "Pictorial Key to the Tarot") "new beginnings, a leap of faith, the happy wanderer, adventure, folly, mania, delirium"

Tarot Reversals (TR), Mary K. Greer
"...spontaneity of action might be coupled with deficiency in judgement... time to grow up. ... excessive concern about looking stupid...failing to notice a warning... trying to 'cover your ass' to avoid getting caught in a mistake or misdeed... pursuing a 'fool's errand'... a journey of initiation with no end in sight."

Tarot Outside the Box (TOB), Valerie Sim
-na-  Doesn't deal with individual card descriptions.

Understanding the Tarot Court (UTC), Mary K. Greer & Tom Little
-na- deals with Court cards.

Choice-Centered Tarot (CCT), Gail Fairfield
"You'll be protected in your innocence as you follow your heart's desire... You may be too naïve or trusting."

Power Tarot (PT), Trish MacGregor & Phyllis Vega
"...purity of action untouched by experience... simplicity of motives and his sheer exuberance leave no room for doubt or fear... he trusts his instincts."

The Heart of the Tarot (HT), Sandra Thompson, Robert Mueller, Signe Echols
"...fools  have more fun than anyone else.  They make fun of everything, including themselves. Because the Fool guides us toward a way of seeing with a lighter value, giving balance and perspective to the usual or more serious perception, one aspect of The Fool is that of having a different and often weird viewpoint... we shouldn't take ourselves or our situation so seriously. Lighten up!"

Tarot Dictionary & Compendium (TDC), Jana Riley
"...receiving protection through your faith and innocence.  With this card, anything or nothing could happen.  The Fool is the sum of all the other cards."

Tarot For Your Self (TYS), Mary K. Greer
"Leaping off into some new phase of life...experiencing life in the here and now."

How to Read Tarot Cards (RTC), Doris Chase Doane & King Keyes
nothing worth noting.

A Complete Guide to the Tarot (CGT), Eden Gray
"Symbolizes the Lifepower before it enters manifestation...he represents inexperience - which certainly can be foolish... The subject is a dreamer, a mystic... If he thinks 'when ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise' then he is indeed to Fool."

Super Tarot (ST), Sasha Fenton
"..opening of a new chapter, the beginning of a real or metaphorical journey..that could take the Questioner anywhere."