My friend R came down for the weekend, to share her birthday with us yesterday and Easter today - the weekend has been a pleasant bubble, suspended outside all the realities we'll have to deal with come tomorrow and for the most part (other than eruptions of the sort that happen all the time in this rowdy family) it was pleasant and sociable.
My older daughter, J, made her a cake and last night we colored eggs - J insisting she didn't want to, and then sitting at the table with us and doing her share. My younger daughter, D, worked carefully on hers, doing a sort of spongepainting thing that made the eggs look tie dyed.
Later, after everyone went to bed, I did Easter basket duties - along with the required candy and plastic eggs full of jelly beans, I tucked in bead bracelets for each of them, a sequined scarf-belt, a couple small craft items and next to their baskets I set a larger item - for J, a set of 10 fancy-border scissors for scrapbooking, and for D, a mini sewing machine, because she's been doing a lot of recycling of her worn out clothing into purses and bags and doing it all by hand. (That little machine was only $20 and she's been having a blast all day with it)
We had a thought this morning that she might want to hunt eggs, but she decided not to (age 12, right on the cusp between childhood and teen and neither we nor she knows which side of that cusp she might be on at any given moment), so the eggs decorated the coffee table for just a short while before they got turned into deviled eggs.
anyway... it was a welcome bit of fun and I after my friend left to make the four hour trip home, I started noodling around with a spread that reminded me of the fun parts of Easter, and the following is what I came up with. It's not meant to be taken too seriously - just a bit of happy fluff to bring a smile.
Easter Egg Spread
The cards should be arrange to resemble an Easter Egg, with the final card placed in the center:
-------1-------
----2-----3----
-------8-------
---4-------5---
-----6---7-----
Deck Used: Housewives Tarot (via Orphalese - I wanted something whimsical for this reading)
1. Coloring your eggs. - How do you create beauty, joy and hope in your life?
XIV: Temperance
An electric mixer with mixing bowl, full of fluffy pink. Surrounding it are four boxes of ingredients, labeled: New Joy - Happiness by the Spoonful, Justice Seasoning, Instant Anger, and Sorrow.
Keywords: "Cooperation * Compromise * Sympathy"
I like the way this card points out that temperance doesn't reject or eliminate anger and sorrow - it combines them with justice and joy to create something tasty. I 'decorate my eggs' by honoring all aspects of my life, including the negative parts, and dealing with them justly and with joy.
(In spite of the badness of Friday and what is coming in the next few days, this weekend truly was joyful - maybe not even in spite of, but because of. We don't have to let our anger and sorrow take over even if we can't keep it away right now.)
This was our last holiday together spent as an intact family. I expect we will have other holidays all together, but not in the same way. Letting ourselves celebrate that togetherness, even in its passing, was a worthy thing to do.
2. What are you looking for? - What Easter Eggs are hidden from you now?
I: The Magician
A slick salesman in a plaid jacket is smiling and holding his left hand up to display a shiny new front loading washing machine. His right hand is hidden in his jacket pocket. In the background, a suburban neighborhood of brick houses and trees is visible.
Keywords: "Illusions * Deception * Charm"
Am I looking for a sales-pitch? I don't think so... and this connotation is exactly what always makes me uncomfortable with The Magician. I'll be starting a close examination of The Magician card tomorrow and spend the next couple weeks trying to understand this card better.
Maybe that's all this is about - the positive side of The Magician card is currently hidden from me, and I will need to spend time looking for it. I think I need to access its strengths (and resist the con-artist aspects of it), and to do that I need to come to terms with it. I am also going to need to be on sharp lookout against kidding myself with plans and proposed solutions that seem too good to be true, because they probably are.
3. How can you find them? - What do you need to do to uncover them?
Page of Cups
A young boy in red and white striped pajamas and a blue and white paper crown is sprinkling water on a trio of flowers. The flowers have yellow petals like daisies, but the center of them are faces. The roots of the flowers are heart-shaped.
Keywords: "Cultivation * Growth * Nurture"
To access an understanding of the traits of the Magician, I am going to need to nurture and water my relationships with others and myself - the key to my ability to use my personal tools in order to manifest my will is always going to be through caring for the emotional growth of myself and those around me. This isn't news, but I've never thought of it as a power-supply source. I am going to have to think on this one some more.
4. What's in your basket. - What sweet things have you been given?
Page of Wands
A young boy with a brown paper crown and a cowboy outfit is riding a hobby horse made of a red sponge-mop. He has a pair of toy guns, one holstered and one in his left hand. His face is smiling and mischievous and his gaze is looking upward and to the left.
"Imagination * Fun-Loving * Creativity
My sweet treat for the day was indeed the creativity and fun shared with my children and friend, coloring eggs, creating Easter baskets full of goodies that would surprise and appeal to them. This carried me through what could have been a grim and heartbreaking weekend.
No matter how difficult the weeks and months ahead might get, my children and my ability to enjoy time spent with them will be the biggest thing that sees me through.
5. What will you share? - What good thing from your basket are you willing to share with someone else?
8 of Wands
A dark-haired womon in a blue shirt nd brown capris is riding on a broom through a cloudy sky. Flying through the air with her are seven other handled cleaning objects - brushes, mops, carpet sweepers, a feather duster, etc.
"Travel * Flight * Growth
I am traveling quickly into my future and it certainly will be a growth experience (she said ruefully) - it's not much occurred to me that this is something I even can share with anyone else, and yet, it is, isn't it? I have my circle of friends - the people who love me - and I can, and should make sure I let them come along for the ride.
6. Easter grass. - What is the foundation that keeps your gifts from harm?
Knight of Wands
An older boy in jeans and a blue striped t-shirt is riding a red bike. He is wearing a silver pot on his head for a helmet and wielding a red plunger as if it were a lance. His expression is determined and intent. The background is a nondescript beige.
"Exuberance * Mischief * Loyalty
I can keep my gifts (my ability to enjoy time spent with my kids and my friends and to nurture those relationships instead of seeing this time as simply the loss of my relationship with my husband) by...well, by lightening up and not making the mistake of taking everything so seriously that I forget how to have fun and be playful (and yes, that includes a bit of mischievous fun). That right there is now I can stay loyal to those who have remained loyal to me. While there is likely to still be some grieving left to do, if I don't turn my life into a tragedy, I can come out of this without permanent harm, to myself or to my children.
7. Rotten Egg? - What's stinking up your life that you need to find and discard?
XVIII: The Moon
A woman in a pink nightgown is sleeping peacefully on a bare, blue-striped mattress. Shadowy sheep are jumping in an arc in front of her. A pink calendar is above her on the left of the card, and a pink-lidded jar of cold cream is above on the left. A very large, smiling yellow moon occupies the center of the card and the background is deep blue cloth with stitched stars and thin, puffy clouds holding up the calendar and the moon.
"Instinct * Intution * Dreams
Interesting - I rarely see the Moon card as anything negative, but in this position this might have to do with the illusion and confusion aspect of this card. I need to discard any clinging I am doing to my personal nightmares, to seeing what's happening (or my husband himself) through a paranoid or unduly harsh filter. Hanging onto my fears about the situation really will start to stink if I don't get rid of them - the tendency to see myself as a wronged victim will take away my personal power and my ability to recover from this.
I see, I think. I need to let go of seeing him as someone in power over me and consciously acting with intent and hurt. There has been intentional hurt, but it's come from his own fears and perception of himself as without power (why else fight so hard to exert it in negative ways? He's acting as if he's in a life and death battle). The quicker I can accept and forgive what he wasn't able to do, the quicker I will stop hurting.
Not there yet. But trying. The calendar on the wall of this card tells me that time will heal... the cold cream is a soothing reminder to not worry so much, lest it give me wrinkles (hee).
8. What's ready to hatch? - What's preparing to come into your life?
V: The Hierophant
An old-fashioned, black and white console television displaying a test pattern (a circular shape with a sort of target in the middle of it, with smaller circles at the four corners - the smaller circles are divided into quarters) sits in the center of the card. The background is an alligator skin textured beige.
Answers * Wisdom * Harsh Truths
Interesting - does this indicate that I may get some answers to the questions I have about all this? That would be good.. I think. The test pattern sort of resembles the wheel of fortune to me.
At a more basic level, the Hierophant sometimes has to do with institutions and conventional philosophies - what is ready to 'hatch' is an encounter with a lawyer who (I hope) can give me some answers at the very least about how to go about this dissolution in a way that causes the least amount of pain and disruption to all of us.
That TV test pattern used to show up when stations closed down for the night - this card is telling me it's almost time to call it a day. But that's ok, because there's a new day coming.
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