You know that energy thing I was talking about the last time I updated? Well, it called up a whole lot of revelations (very very short summary - I'm 'wounded' there and hadn't realized it) and what felt like a balloon with a slow leak... I just plain puttered out.
The last couple weeks have been mainly about not fighting it ... this isn't, as I thought, just a matter of plowing through it by will, but of doing some healing work. And just to highlight that, I shot into another flare that had me barely able to move for few days, computer issues that made it hard to connect outwardly and all in all forced a retreat and rest.
None of which has particularly felt fun, but I do think it had a purpose (one that is going to be ongoing). I was reminded, most of all that progress is not a linear progression, but a spiral and I can't assume that territory I've already crossed will forever be in the past and never dealt with again.
But... new month, and I want to start my daily draws again - and today I drew the Page of Swords from the Mythic Tarot - new beginnings, new ideas and expressions. Here, we see Zephyrus, God of the West Wind, sitting on a cloud and blowing fresh gusts into the air. He is riding above a mountain range, very high up - it's own base is lost in clouds below.
A good card for a fresh start. On a purely physical level, it reminds me of the simple pleasure of throwing doors and windows open and airing out the house - soon, I'll have to switch to AC, but today feels so nice (and that after some thunderstorms yesterday and more to come tomorrow). Mentally, it tells me I can proceed from the new understandings I've come to the last couple weeks without feeling obligated to stay still until I solve everything. Emotionally, I note that this is the West wind - west is the direction of the emotions, and much of what I realized is that my wounded energy drain has to do with emotions I thought I'd moved beyond but only shoved deep inside... healing right now is not simply about physical energy or even motivation, but (and isn't this always the way) are also about taking care of those emotional issues.
Not something I'll solve quickly or easily.. but for today, a new wind is in the air and I'm ready to feel that fresh breeze on my face.
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