Daily Draw: Five of Earth (Insecurity)

The over all color of this card is brown - dusty greyish brown.  It feels cold and dry.  In the background is an old stone building that may be abandoned - there is no glass in the windows or light coming from them.  A low wall is visible on the right side of it.

In the foreground, a cracked bowl contains two ears of corn, and three more are on the ground in front of the bowl, with a scattering of kernels on the dusty ground beneath them.  There is nothing growing - just bare ground, stone, and this corn, which looks dried, old and dusty.

Blackbirds are swooping around the building, one looks as if it is about to fly down and eat the corn - they are the only still-living creatures in the scene and they are scavengers and omens of death.

The sky is grey and cloudy, full of the threat (or promise) of rain - though it doesn't look like it rains often here.... it may not be safe to count on what those clouds might bring.

This is a very evocative image and "insecurity" is a good word for the sense it evokes - the corn is not safe from the birds... neither the bowl or stone building is secure from the elements in the damaged state.  Even the birds are not safe - once this bit of corn is gone, there will be nothing left to eat.

My Ace of Wands from yesterday turned out to be a blow up from my daughter... she's been acting cranky and confrontational for a few days now, with no explanation for it and last night she  interrupted me when I was speaking with her younger sister to make an (irrelevent) accusatory observation and when it was protested (I asked her to mind her tone and stop trying to pick fights over meaningless stuff), got extremely offended at the suggestion that her attitude was the reason she'd gotten a negative reaction - and proceeded to have a two hour temper tantrum about it.

Which pretty well confirmed that her attitude is a factor..heh.  It was a bit marvelous to behold - she's 19, not 13, and this doesn't happen often anymore.  In the midst of that, attempting to get at what's underneath it was impossible, so that question is on my mind this morning while I wait to see whether or not it's passed or if today we're continuing in the same vein.

And I think this card is pointing to that underlying reason - she's at the point where she wants to be out on her own, but she's not in much of a position to do it yet.... all she's got is a cracked bowl and a sense of precariousness.. no reserves for dealing with what  it takes to be independent and secure.  And I do think that right now she's not yet grasped that she has to build that security - not wait for it to be handed to her.  Lately, she's both leaning hard on my support while rejecting and resenting needing it.

I can understand that, but I would really prefer to see her expending her energy in taking on more of her own self-care rather than stomping around the house like a caged tiger.  Ah well.. the joys of being the parent of a nearly-adult, I guess.

I will try today to see past the bluster and remember the image on this card and the arid hopelessness it reveals.

Comments

[Sharyn]

Good luck on the daughter, I so remember when I was in her spot. I think if my parents had told me I needed to pay rent I would have glommed I was ready to take that last step out of the nest. It is the only real regret in my life, that I went from my fathers house to my husbands house. I missed entirely the experience of young single woman.
Sharyn/Quirk

[Morgana Fillion]

Thanks for you comments! I made that same decision with the same regrets about it. Se and I normally get along quite well, and I am trying to see this as a good thing - if we never got restless, we'd never leave the comforts of home.

She's given herself a deadline of next summer, and I think putting that timeline on it is highlighting all the hurdles she needs to cross to make it happen. Going gto be an interesting year!