Journey in 78 Steps

New Moon in Taurus Reading

Before I put the Goddess Tarot away, I wanted to do a reading with it.  I totally neglected to observe Beltane last week, but today the New Moon in Taurus is here, and with that brings up issues of security, comfort and abundance... and it so happens that Christine Jette's Beltane spread (The May Queen) is devoted to those concerns.

Safety
VIII - Justice
This was the card I drew yesterday and it speaks well to the way I draw a sense of safety to myself - the ability to analyse and understand a potentially unsafe situation, and pool resources in a way so that no one person is left to take the hit alone is the primary way I currently find safety in an otherwise precarious life. 

In terms of where this points me this next month, I will want to focus on establishing my safety by not living in ignorance of what is going on - the more I understand, the safer I am, and that means looking into a few paperwork details I've been procrastinating about, mainly because I've been afraid of finding out something negative I can't deal with.  Pretty dumb - I can't deal with what I don't know about, either.

Abundance
6 of Swords
Currently, my sense of abundance springs less from having and more from experiencing life as a progression toward stability.  It matters less where I am at the moment than which direction I'm heading.  There's a sense of intention about this card - not giving up but taking one's ideas and moving them to a more favorable place in which to use them.  I am taking babysteps right now toward a sense of abundance, and have done quite a bit of alteration in my thinking about what makes up 'abundance'... and this is the key thing I've realized.  It's not so much a goal to be reached as a journey to be taken, and it requires getting some focus on what is important to retain and what is best left behind. "Tis a gift to be simple" comes to mind here.

In terms of where this points me this next month, I believe the I need to do some sorting of my 'stuff', material as well as my ideas about abundance and do some releasing of those things that are no longer serving me... travel lighter but start looking ahead.  I need to do some spring cleaning in earnest in my home, get rid of things that are holding me back from abundance (clutter is not a sign of abundance! It's a sign of fear of loss!) and leave some room in the boat for those  things that truly make me feel prosperous.  I also need to sit down and do some regrouping on my financial plan and make sure that I'm not lugging along baggage I don't need merely out of habit.

Regeneration
XVI - Oppression
This is an odd image for the Tower card - it depicts the Wawalak, which is described in the LWB as Australian aboriginal goddesses who are swallowed whole by the Great Rainbow Serpent and are 'oppressed by darkness' until they are reborn back into the light.  The Tower (and Chariot) is my Life Purpose card so I've gotten used to... so the message here is as it involves regeneration is that those dark moments where everything seems to be falling apart are a necessary part of growth for me - they serve a purpose however unsettling it seems at the time. 

I feel much less these days as if I'm living in an eternally falling Tower (or belly of a giant snake), but moments like the car breaking down just as I thought I'd get a bit in front of expenses felt that way... but only briefly.  And ultimately, having it go allowed us to know it needed to be fixed, so that's a bit of regeneration right there, isn't it?  If the belt hadn't gone, we might not have realized the problem with the water pump, and I think that might have led to a much worse situation down the road.

In terms of where this points me this next month, I think this feeds into what else this reading has pointed to - I need to be open to experiencing sudden alterations in my plans and habits as opportunities for revelation that can lead to freedom from oppression.  This version of the card depicts the moment before that breakthrough where things seem stagnate and hopeless... the Tower isn't a fortress that protects, it's a prison.  Remembering that, I can try to see upheavals as birth-pangs leading to regeneration and a new outlook that opens the path to greater freedom.

Love
7 of Pentacles
In terms of my primary relationships, things are steady and developing - there is slow, organic growth here and not much going on on the surface... things on on cruise and neither need or would be helped by a lot of hands on fiddling.

This is a simple Taurean 'don't fix it if it ain't broke' idea and a reminder to relax and enjoy things as they are without rushing to make it something else.  The 7 also speaks about taking time out to appreciate the value of my relationships and not mistake peace for stagnation.

In terms of where this points me this next month, I will make sure to show my appreciation often and not wait for big events to spur me to remember to say thank you and I love you to those in my life.

Future
9 of Pentacles
And here's a nice vision for the future.. a woman who is stable, happy and independent.  As I deal with prosperity and comfort related issues this month, I will hold this image in mind and remember that this is where I am wanting to be.  Each step toward it is a step in the right direction.

In terms of where this points me this next month, I will devote some time to doing what I mentioned above, keeping in mind the bigger picture and ultimate goal.  I'll work to eliminate dependence on those things that don't lead me to this happy domestic stability, and again, appreciate each step along the way.

In practical terms, I want to spend this month eliminating clutter, realigning my spending to what creates a stable, welcoming home, devote more time to meal planning that targets cost savings, nutrition and aesthetics (finding enjoyable 'comfort meals') and working to simplify our living habits in such a way that we alter our views on what abundance is - not more, but more enjoyment with less.  And I want to make these changes not to ride out a tight time, but to create new habits that will take us into the future feeling secure and prosperous without being utterly dependent on money to do so.

Daily Draw: VIII - Justice (Athena)

my description:

Athena stands, facing right, in front of a pair of pillars.  She wears a white dotted dress and a white cloak covered in flowers and holds what first appears to be a spear but after looking closer, is a spindle.  There is an owl on her right shoulder.  The scene in the distance shows a Grecian landscape and Greek temples and a green bush is nearby behind the pillars.

My week with the Goddess Tarot deck is coming to a close with another Major Arcana goddess devoted to wisdom... this time wisdom applied to affairs of state and fair connections with others.  Athena was both a battle goddess and the protector of Athens known for her calm, rational devotion to wisdom, which makes her a good candidate for the Justice card.  Athena was often appealed to to settle disputes and to assist in the negotiation of terms - this is energy that can be used to sort complex issues that require keeping the needs and desires of all involved in mind.

The portion of my day that most reminds me of Justice involved an intricate and somewhat comical plan for getting the car fixed and safely home.  In looking over the belt, we figured out that an additional and equally critical problem was the water pump needing to be replaced. Now, I know less than nothing about what goes on under the hood - but the belt not only works the automatic steering but operates the pump, and unless the pump was also replaced, it was just going to slip off again (plus do whatever bad thing a messed up pump does to the car). 

The problem is.. money, and getting the right people to the car or the car back home.  And that's where it all turned into one of those puzzles where you try to get the fox and the rabbit and the lettuce across the river without anything getting eaten.

My houseguest helped, with both cash and driving so that my son in law could rent a tool to get the new belt installed, then the tool had to be returned, the car driven home, the belt removed again so the pump could be put on, the tool taken back to get the money for the rental back (it was a deposit) to buy the pump.. and in a couple days when I can, we'll re-rent the tool to put the belt back on after the new pump is installed.

That doesn't nearly describe the conversation where we sorted all that out.. it involved, "ok, you loan me this much now and I'll pay him and then he'll pay you half and then..."  It was a situation where none of us could make it happen without the help of everyone else and everyone involved played a vital role in getting it done.

I did mentioned how fortunate I am to have friends, right??

So... problem is not solved yet but it's in the process of being solved.  Thanks, Athena.

Daily Draw: Ten Staves

my description:

Nine wands are held together by a tenth wand, curved and woven between them, holding them together.  The fan of wands seems to bbe radiating outward from a rising sun and each of the wands are budding new leaves.

Wow, this card is a much more positive image of the 10 of Staves than the usual figure slogging it out to the end of a long, hard journey.  Here, all those 'burdens' or desires are held together and the ten as a successful conclusion - shades of the Sun - are highlighted. 

I described this as a sunrise, but I'm also thinking sunset... the old cowboy cliche where the hero saves the day and then 'rides off into the sunset', job well done and didn't quit until it was.

I like the way the wands are held together so that each stems from a single source (the sun) but stands on its own, knit together by the curved wand... the primary goal, curved because it has been adapted to bring all these concerns together as  a strong united front.  It speaks of keeping ones main purpose in mind and making sure that all the steps along the way work together rather than at cross purposes to it.. not getting lost in the weight and difficulty of each one, but seeing it through for the sake of what one really wants.

I'm writing this a day late because I was having a difficult day - painful joints and things to do that weren't exactly fun.  On a brighter note, I've a houseguest this weekend and really just want to not have to do anything other than visit.  But, we made a morning out of getting my errands out of the way, had a nice lunch out and with the hard stuff out of the way, enjoyed the rest of the afternoon.

If I'd put them off, they'd have hung over my head all day... so 10 of Staves... get it done and then go enjoy your free time.

Daily Draw: Nine Pentacles

my description:

A woman in a lacy white sari and headscarf stands holding a pentacle in her right hand, and reaches up to a white bird with her right.  The setting shows lush greenery covered in pentacle, mature leafy trees behind her and mountains in the distance.  The surrounding border shows pink and yellow flowers and more white birds flying in a yellow sky.

I've been seeing this card turn up a lot lately in my readings for others.. now here it is for me.  The sense I get from this version is peace and contentment and a state of physical and mental wellbeing.  Life is good, and interesting and beautiful and safe.

The surrounding mountains are interesting - they bring in mental energy I've not thought of before with this card. This is not describing someone who simply has plenty in their life, but someone who has gained it through intelligent action and who is thoughtful in their appreciation of it.  It seems to me that's a really important aspect of this sense of calm wellbeing.  I've known people who had a lot - who'd worked for it, but never act as if its enough or feel secure that it will be there tomorrow.  And that attitude makes a person live as precariously as if they had nothing at all.  But if you know you thoughtfully planned out your own stability, and appreciate what is in your life, it's easier to develop the sort of peace this card depicts than if you have tons of stuff and plenty of money but live every day feeling lack and impending doom.

The trees remind me that this is a card of maturity - maturity in approach to possessions and security, and also a maturity of possessions and money itself... planning for one's retirement and making purchases that are meant to last - looking for quality over quantity.

The bird for me brings in alignment with one's spiritual self - one's material world should reflect spiritual beauty and uplift, not bring one down or be acquired just for the sake of having them.

And for me today, this is a simple suggestion to appreciate my home and what I have and to do something today to make it more beautiful for myself.  To appreciate myself enough to create an environment I love.

Daily Draw: Nine Staves

my description:

A golden haired woman dressed in a simple white tunic held a the waist by a rope belt stands holding a stave in her right hand.  She seems to be leaning on it slightly.  Behind her are seven other tall staves, and one smaller, paler one leaning against another one. All of the staves, including the one she carries, have small buds of leaves  developing. The ground is sandy and  there are white hills in the distance.  The surrounding border shows an arid, fiery landscape.

Pretty close to the standard RWS depiction of this card, with slightly more emphasis on the idea of pausing and a bit less to the idea of being wounded.  However, there is a rather lovely blend of strength and weakness here, and of having multiple reserves that can be drawn on as needed, even if they aren't currently being used.  The woman both holds up and is held up by her stave... the active energy she's working with.  Behind here, there are other staves she can draw upon.  She both stands before them, protecting them, and they stand behind her, protecting her.  The one weaker stave can't be used now, but it is propped up by the stronger ones and it is budding along with the rest of them - left alone but protected to grow now, it will eventually be as strong as the others.

The surrounding atmosphere is quite arid and lifeless - the environment surrounding this card isn't very helpful to growth, so it's more about maintaining one's inner reserves until the situation is more fertile for activity, but even in this lifeless environment, one's strengths can develop if they are used to maintain rather than expended.  It's about hanging in there until a better time to act appears, not giving up, but taking a rest to preserve what you have so that when things do change, you're ready to move.

Daily Draw: II - Wisdom (Sarasvati)

my description:

an Indian woman wearing a white sari and ornate headpiece sits on a giant pink lotus blossom surrounded by water.  She has four arms, two playing a stringed instrument, one left hand holding a red book and the other turned palm up and facing outward.

The water around her is glowing, as if she is radiating light.  Behind her are purple snowpeaked mountains.

The border around the main image shows swans (associated with Sarasvati) and dragonflies.

Sarasvati is the Hindu goddess of knowledge and the arts, symbolized by the musical instrument and book she holds.  The lotus she sits on, symbolic of the soul's higher consciousness because it grows up above the mud and water from which it comes, sits on a sea surrounded by mountains... the intuitive, spiritual center in the midst of intellectual knowledge.  Here, wisdom is a blend of intuition and intellect and the blending of the two generates creative expression and an aesthetic awareness.

In looking around for more detail about Sarasvati, I find connections between her and my more familiar understanding of the High Priestess.  She is described as one who usually declines lavish adornment in favor of a simple white sari (though in this image, she's bedecked in jewels) and one who forgoes "the cravings of the flesh" and instead embraces wisdom, the arts, and knowledge.  She is the patron of libraries and schools, and these are regarded as her temples.

Sarasvati ('one who flows') is a river goddess and was the first to emerge from Brahma, riding a swan, and co-creator with him of the World. She was his counselor, teaching him the ways of wisdom, and there is a story of how he was enamored of her but she insisted their relationship lead to higher minded things.  Eventually, she found a way to cool his ardor enough to be able to be near him and they became man and wife, blending creative energy with wisdom and knowledge.

Deck of the Week: Goddess Tarot

This week, I'm pulling out my Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr.  For me this is practically a brand new deck though I've had it for over a year... the cards still feel stiff and the shape of them is fairly clumsy in my hands.  They're nearly square, so it's difficult to find a smaller side to shuffle from.

The theme of this deck - no mystery here - is based on a variety of goddesses from various cultures.  Each of the Major Arcana is based on the story of a different goddess.  In the case of the minors, the imagery is closer to RWS standard, but each suit is associated with a particular goddess:  Venus for Cups, Freyja for Staves, Isis for Swords, and Lakshmi for Pentacles.

The coloring is pastel and primarily peach tones - it's a bit softer focus than I prefer (I much prefer the richness of Kris Waldherr's Lover's Path Deck).  I enjoy decks that employ a hook in to mythology, although I also sometimes find the associations limiting and stretching a point to make it fit the Tarot structure.  I am not sure yet how well the mythological associations will work for me with this deck, but I do like that it incorporates more than just one mythology, so I'm looking forward to finally spending some time with it.  I will likely be referring to the LWB with this one, so I can understand the mythology in the cards.