Journey in 78 Steps

Reading - Spiritual Exploration

This will be my last day with the Osho Zen Tarot here for now, so I decided to do a small reading with it before putting it away.

In recent days, my friend M. and I have been looking into a couple collective spiritual organizations and one in particular has sparked a high enough level of interest that I thought I'd read on what my own focus should be in exploring actual involvement with a spiritual body - I tend to be as non-joiner and very eclectic, so it's rare when I even consider actively picking one path to walk, even for a time.

What I have:
Ace of Water (Go with the Flow)

An indistinct figure is floating in a large pool of water in which soft waves are rising and falling - the water is blue and empty and the figure appears to be naked and shallowly submerged in the water itself.  The figure's posture is relaxed and reminds me of a loose version of the Hanged Man's posture - one leg tucked lightly behind  the other, the left hand tucked behind the head while the other floats outward comfortably from the body.

I love this image - I have occasional dreams of being in this environment, where there is no weight pulling me down and soft rocking waves sooth and caress.

This is what I have - the ability to float freely in the sea of spiritual exploration with no need to pick a spot of solid ground.  I can let it cradle me without clinging to it, go where it takes me without being driven toward or away from any specific path.  And because this is an Ace, this method leaves me open to serendipitous opportunities to explore areas I haven't consciously considered before with an open heart.

What you need to know:
10 of Rainbows (We are the World)

The world is suspended in a starry universe and ringed with a rainbow hued ring of dancers holding hands.  A glowing aura surrounds the whole, creating a mandala.

What I need to know as I explore specific collective religious groups is that we *are* connected already - this isn't about 'joining' because we are already joined.  It is about finding a group in which I can acknowledge that connection.  This also tells me what my main criteria is ... do they honor this inherent connection, or identify themselves by how they differ from the whole?

While each figure is in a different position in their dance and each wears a different hue, together they are one - this respect for both diversity and similarity is important to me, and I will need to be sure that any group I commune with share that basic ideal.

The other thing this card suggests to me stems from the standard 10 of Pentacles, which for me has to do with legacy and gifts from the past.  While those organizations I tend to be intrigued about are not ancient traditions (indeed, most are quite modern in foundation), it is important to me that there be a some respect for traditional inspirations for their modern practice - to be neither so stuck on tradition that they lose sight of contemporary need or so loose in their orientation that they feel no connection at all to the spirituality of those who came before us.  Mainly, I'd like to be with people who understand the history of their own faith and don't treat speculation as fact or reject any interest in the history and origins of their spiritual metaphors, so these are things I will want to research.

What I need to do:
0: The Fool

A figure wearing a brightly colored diamond patterned tunic with a white loose shirt underneath, green pants and red boots has stepped off the edge of a cliff as if it isn't there - the figure is suspended at a point where the next step could be a crashing fall or - as the posture appears to suggest - take off flying.

The figures arms are held out away from the body like a bird's wings.  The right hand holds a white flower up toward the moon... almost as if toasting the moon with it.

The moon itself is a very tiny crescent and stars surround it, though there is a bright sunny glow rising along the horizon.

Far below there are hills covered in trees and some sort of river or road running between them, as well as numerous clouds indicating how high up this image is.  Directly below there is some sort of soft pink misty glow - I get the sense that even if the figure falls, it will be a falling into something welcoming and soft.  There is no fear here and no need for it.

So what I need to do as I approach this exploration is ... have fun with it, trust the essential goodness and safety of both Spirit and humanity ...  trust that I will not be hurt if I let myself go and experience a group religious gathering without holding myself apart or playing it cautious and suspicious.

(If that sounds easy, it's not.)

Something I really like about this trio of cards here - all three of them show figures that are reminiscent of the Hanged Man (sacrificing preconceptions to let things happen), which in turn is reminiscent of the dancing figure on the World card - which is slammed home by this 10 of Rainbows, showing dancers dancing collectively.

The message is simple and clear - get out of my own way once I'm sure that a group is affirming of that connectedness and just experience the connection for what it is.

I feel like breathing a large sigh of relief.

Knight of Rainbows - Slowing Down

Knight of Rainbows (Pentacles) - Slowing Down

A turtle walks slowly along a sandy path bordered by overhanging grass and large rocks, toward a rainbow shoreline.  The turtle is also rainbow colored, subtle shifts from purple to blue to green. 

The turtle's focus is on the rainbow water ahead - he is not in any hurry but neither is he aimlessly wandering.  He sees his goal and his steps are methodical and patient.

It's been a slow day for me today... very hard to find any burst of energy or inspiration to get things done, and while I got a few items i'd planned to checked off, there were many more that will need to wait until tomorrow.  I don't feel at all as focused as this turtle - I could 'see' my path, but I wasn't moving on it, not even with slow turtle steps.

Daily Draw: X - Change / 2 Rainbows (Moment to Moment)

For the second time this week, I drew the Wheel so I drew another for what the appropriate response to this energy should be today, and drew the 2 of Rainbows (Pentacles), subtitled "Moment to Moment".

This card shows a man in loose white tunic and pants trimmed in black (reflecting the yin-yang at the center of the Wheel mandala), balancing carefully on his left foot as he walks across a rainbow-hued sea by stepping from stone to stone - he has found a solid foundation to move through the shifting chaos of the roiling water.  The rainbow colors of the sea are reflected in the mandala as well.

The only way for him to do this without falling in and being swept away is to focus on one step at a time, balancing, and keeping his feet on what's solid - the rocks determine his path, but how he treads them is up to him.

In spite of the precariousness of this situation, the card itself seems joyful and light - he seems to be enjoying the trip.

Together these seem to suggest approaching the changing cycles of the Wheel by staying focused on one step at a time, staying grounded and balanced and understanding the difference between what is in our control and what is merely to be accepted.

Today it reminds me of a number of things that  are pending or otherwise outside of my ability to act on them, and also those things I can do, now, today.  It reminds me that I don't need to procrastinate and wait until everything is known, but can take small steps to clear away those things that are up to me to do.

And that said, I've got a to-do list with a few items I'd like to tick off, and I think I'll get started on that now.

Daily Draw: VI - The Lovers

VI - The Lovers

A pair of figures stand face to face, small smiles on their faces.  Their hair is dark and filled with stars.  Between them is a pattern composed of two upright and two downward triangles interwoven with one another.  Beneath that is a large red heart in which there is a second pair of figures, locked in an embrace.  There are reddish wings to each side of the heart, and rays of white light beyond the wings.  The heart is nestled in a bed of pink roses.  Behind the figures there is a round dark area that looks like an eclipse to me, with blinding white light above it, and green and red light on each side of it.

This is such a beautiful image - the universe woven into the being of this couple, while in their heart they are intimately entertwined... the fragrance of roses and passionate red wings to give their heart flight.  It speaks of romance, passion, and the connectedness of one to the other and both to the universe.  The eclipse shows that things are not always 'roses'... sometimes, things seem dark but in the choice to keep the union the central thing, the dark times pass and the pair lives in the light.

What a perfect card to describe my day today - late last night, I picked up my youngest from the airport after a trip to see her father and this morning she is very happily catching up on time with her boyfriend. (She had a good trip...but glad to be home).

Meanwhile, I've been spending my morning dipping strawberries in chocolate - this afternoon, I'm heading over to a friend's house.  Her parents (who are very sweet and have been unrelentingly welcoming to my family over the last couple of years) are celebrating their 50th anniversary.  Love... from the earliest beginning to the result of a lifetime united... is in the air today.

Daily Draw: X - Change

X - Change (Wheel of Fortune)

A multicolored mandala is suspended in a blue universe - the very center of the mandala is a yin-yang symbol.  It is surrounded by a ring of blue-white light and then a circle of red.  Next there is a ring composed of four quadrants, each a different color and filled with what appears to be lightnight.  Finally there is a layer that seems to be composed of petal shapes, the colors subtly changing as I look around the ring. 

There are white streaks of light of speckles of light that could be stars radiating out from the mandala and the way they trail outward gives the appearance that the mandala is turning counter clockwise.

The bottom of the card is white as if bright light is glowing below.

This card is called change, and emphasizes the cyclical and changing nature of time - as the wheel turns, events come and go but looking at the whole from a distance, there is a pattern to it all - the change is in color and tone only - as if it is the attitude we bring to an event that 'colors' our perception of it more than simply the event and circumstance itself.

I do like this card and the overall impression of it for me is soothing rather than focused on the risky nature of most Wheel renditions - here, I am reminded to be mindful of the patterns of my life and look forward to the changes as periods where a different light can be shone on the whole that is my existance.

Daily Draw: 8 of Water: Letting Go

Last night I returned home and tomorrow my youngest daughter comes back from her summer visit with her dad.

Today's card is the 8 of Water, subtitled "Letting Go".  It depicts lotus leaves growing out of a pool of water in which the sky is reflected.  Droplets of water are suspended on the surface of the lotus leaf and one has just dripped off, leaving a ring of ripples at the point where it's dropped into the pool - the rings are just starting to expand outward, but they will continue to widen their reach.

The upper right hand corner of the card is hard to make out but the white area of reflection in the water looks like a full moon - it may simply be a lunar shaped bit of light created by the surrounding shadows though.

What needs to be let go of here is the water's hold on the lotus - it's a stable place to be, and allows the droplet to stay self-contained.. but water is meant to merge and flow, and eventually, to do that it must let go of the leaf, and drop into the common pool - loses its individuality, but the unique result of that one droplet is felt in expanding ripples throughout the entire pond.  Only in letting go of its own individual hold on life and merging into the the pool of commonality can it make any impact at all... in letting go, it finds its greater purpose.

Daily Draw: XII - New Vision

XII - New Vision (Hanged Man)

There are two figures in this card, though they seem to be the same person, transforming.  First, there is a shadowy green figure on his hands and knees down in the grass (or a part of the grass) at the bottom of the card.  He's looking down, focused on his earthy environment, and looks like he's slowly crawling or getting ready to stand up.

Directly above him, as if this is the crawling figure after he's risen, is another figure - this one in an energetic stance as if he's dancing or preparing to take flight.  There  is a strong hint of wings unfurled in the light behnd him, along the horizon and overhead is a heavily starred night sky.

The figures are connected by a network of threads which seem to be roots, bloodveins, leaves, and finally feathers.  Behind the figure are outlines of geometric patterns... a square (divided into four triangular quadrants), a triangle capping the square like the roof on a house, and then a circle which, along with the white light behind it, reminds me of a full moon.

The colors of the card seem to move upward through the elements, from earthy green to fiery yellow, airy white to watery blue.

This is a very different take on the hanged man, focusing not so much on the 'hanging' aspect as on the new perspective and yet, I can see the sacrifice and patience required here - - this speaks to me of transformation that happens, not in a flash but at an evolutionary pace and at each stage, the person that came before must be sacrificed to make way for the one to follow... the earth bound crawler sees only earth, but to rise up, he must sacrifice who he is and what his perspective is in order to stand and greet the sun.  The standing figure, again, over time must sacrifice his roots in order to fly upward, where 'upright' no longer has meaning.

This card reminds me that 'reality' is based on one's vision and in order to see wider possibilities, we have to be willing to leave behind what we believe is important - to sacrifice our security in the limitations of where we are now.  And the process is slow and gradual, not a rapid shift from one reality to another.  There's a comforting message in that, too... change will not happen before we ourselves have already changed enough to be able to handle it.

In terms of my day, it's not such a profound message, but one that makes me smile ... I am away from home because I had some business to conduct and a friend kind enough to drive me out and let me stay in his home until the weekend, when he can drive me back.  I got what I needed to do done on Monday, and now I'm simply 'hanging out' until it's time to go home.  For him as well, there are a lot of changes in the air, and decisions are being made very gradually, but it's easy to see that the main choices have been made because there is a shift in his focus... a subtle shift from 'if' to 'when'.